Because for some reason he's not in prison.

He should be in prison, wearing prison clothes.

Because he's a prick.

Because that's how a real man does it. Just like how he never cries like a real man, and sticks his thumbs up his ass during auto-felacio like a real man.

why is he out of prison?

Money can't buy taste.

It takes a while for the big labels to come out with their "Human Douche" lines.

Gotta distract down that tiny chin somehow

Because if you're going to be a douchy bear be a douchy grizzly, I guess.

Is this guy still "a thing"?