
:3

:3
Thinking this

Attribution https://www.instagram.com/p/DTY5qn3D9N3/
I do believe that would be more like a minotaur than a centaur
Talk about back pain.
I... what the fuck am I looking at... ?
Please draw a diagram of this creature's digestive system for me. Also their spinal structure.
I… what the fuck am I looking at… ?
It's the human centipede. But giraffe.
So I am an expert in alternative digestive systems. It loops down into the human then back up into the geraffe. That's so the human segment can be vomited at a predator as a defense mechanism m
Good ol' Hamlet! Anytime one of these "what if centaur but different" posts come up I think about him
Good ol' Hamlet
..that play is apparently VERY different from how I remember it 🤔
How long has it been since you've visited Denmark? Because that geraffe is the spitting image of this Danish exchange student I dated in high school
How long has it been since you've visited Denmark?
Since I'm a Danish citizen and have lived here my whole life, I guess I've technically never VISITED Denmark 😄
Because that geraffe is the spitting image of this Danish exchange student I dated in high school
That's probably Pernille. She works at my local hardware store.
I don't like it. But it's probably #2. Centaurs replace the neck of the base animal with a human torso.
Do giraffes have long necks, or long torsos?
Yeah, the first one obviously.
False dichotomy.
Centraur is when the neck of an quadruped animal gets its neck replaced by an human upper body... So the giraffe centaur would have neither a long human stomach, nor a long human neck.
It is reductionism to say that something isn't a giraffe, if it doesn't have a long neck part. Shame on you! 😉
A centaur has explicitly horse features until a certain point, then explicitly human features from that point onwards.
That would mean the upper part not being allowed to divert back to horseness/giraffiness, as the left pic does.
But right would also be wrong, because the torso is elongated instead of the neck.
I suppose a giraffe centaur would be considerably shorter than either of these images suggest.
So, the horses at Fenton's (where the horses are hung like you) are centaurs by that definition?
centaur have human shoulders and neck and head. And horse body without neck&head
so the first one is right, except with human neck
My wife and I frequently bond over a mutual hatred of giraffes. I think this meme just got me laid tonight
I'm glad you two monsters found each other. I hope your kids grow up to love giraffes.
The family that hates together ungulates together!
All ungulates? What about the tasty ones?
Well no, just mainly giraffes. I was hoping that the rhyme would have been funny and distracting enough that I didn't have to explain.
So why do you two hate giraffes?
Here the thing. You ever looked into a giraffe's eyes? There's nothing there, they're mentally vacant. They make deer look like they read the New Yorker. They fight with their necks, which is dumb, but it's even dumber that their evolutionary gambit worked at all. You wanted to eat the leaves, you got tall. Your medals are in the mail, giraffes. Gold medals with sarcastically long neck ribbons. It makes me sick. They're no better than camels, and don't get me started about those filthy bastards.
Well no, now we're interested and you need to elaborate on the camels.
You have to have the long neck, or it's not a giraffe man thing
Edit: A giraftaur
What if it's some other type of stupid long horse
Giraffes have the same number of neck vertebrae as you and me, the bones are just much longer.
An actual giraffe centaur with human torso from the animal's chest up would just be a long-legged spotty horse centaur.
It's posts like this that just reinforce the idea that centaurs are freaky creatures.
Why a six-limbed creature? Actual mammals have at most 4 limbs. What does it eat? Is the stomach a horse stomach or a human stomach? Does the human head have to eat 15 kilograms of grass per day, munching it inefficiently with its human teeth? Can it just blend it up and drink vast quantities of smoothies instead? Are the centaur's front limbs massively strong, unlike a horse, because it has to support a whole secondary torso right at the front of its body? Does the whole body have the same notoriously finnicky immune system and fragility of a horse? Where's the heart, is it in the human chest or the horse chest? If it is running hard will it be the human chest that's panting, using those tiny lungs to power an entire body? Or is there just an air tube down through the useless human chest all the way to the horse's mighty lungs? If the lungs being used are the horse ones, what's all that room in the human chest being used for?
6 limbs implies that centaurs are insects.
The centaur diet consists mostly of meat, so they require fewer plants to survive. But plants are very good for their health, preferably root and leafy plants over grains, nuts, and fruits, but they can still enjoy any diet.
Centaurs used to prefer to eat only raw meat and alcohol, but after contact with humans they developed a cooking culture, preferring methods like spit roasts over methods like boiling, but they still enjoy a good stew.
Foods that are toxic or harmful to horses but not to humans are not a problem for centaurs, such as garlic, onions, avocado, chocolate, bread, dairy, and the brassica cultivars.
The upper torsos of centaurs have secondary lungs and a second small heart that help support their brain and make it less likely that they'll faint during heavy activity, with an esophagus leading to the stomach and a thick trachea leading to larger lungs, both on the second torso.
Their esophagus moves food faster than a human esophagus does, so eating something sharp that could scratch their esophagus is more harmful to them, so it's more important for them to really chew their food well. Unlike horses, centaurs can vomit.
Their upper torso has none of the other vital organs humans have in that area, leaving more room for muscles, which gives them their massive upper body strength. When a centaur appears to have a belly, there's no interintestinal fat there; it's all abdominal fat.
The lower torso has all other main vital organs, and a larger heart and lungs similar to those of horses, and the thicker trachea allows them to breathe faster. Centaurs often have large nostrils and a slightly elongated face to allow for faster airflow.
Their livers are more similar in function to those of humans and sledge dogs, giving them high endurance. They can run without rest far longer than any other creatures they know.
Their lymphatic and blood system, on the other hand, is more similar to that of horses.
Unlike humans, centaurs do not lose muscle mass due to lack of activity, mostly due to illness or lack of nutrition.
There are some variations depending on what 'taur' is their lower body, but these are the common traits shared among all tauric species.
Number 2 would fall over.
Right now a giraffe needs 600lbs of neck muscle to hold up a 50 lb head on a 6 foot lever.
There is no way the giraffe's neck could hold a regular human torso. Forget a proportional one. It's not possible.
Picture for scale. A regular human torso would look comically small on top of a giraffe.

Came here for this. #2 would bend over once and be down for life.
Not to mention those front knees would be under tremendous pressure, even just normal walking would be punishing.
Well, maybe. Or they'd have the most developed 42 pack abs you've ever seen.
You don't even have to get into the weight.
Mammals have at most 4 limbs. Centaurs would have 6 limbs, and the mammal brain never evolved to handle that many.
Neck has to be long. if torso is long that's biologically impossible you die of low blood pressure to the head
Why would the giraffe have a 6 foot torso?
Why don't you have six foot torso
the first, obviously
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