
Credit: Adult Children

Credit: Adult Children
C suites are now infested with a circle jerk of MBAs, business minded people who dont understand or care about the product or how its made. MBAs are a plague, let the engineers who know a damn thing sit at the table please...
”To increase profit we need to make more money”
This was said by a C-level suite at my work. Yeah, no shit Sherlock.
Same when they interview coaches after a game.
“What do you think went wrong, and what can you do to improve it”
“Well, I think mainly our problem was, we didn’t score more points than the opposing team. That was a major contributing factor to our loss. I think in the future, we need to focus more on scoring more points, and not allowing the opposing team to score more points than us.”
Seriously, sports interviews are the worst!
Well except in that case the coaches and players don't actually give a fuck. They are contractually obligated to be there and say something to morons trying to bait them into viral clips
They respond by spitting out canned responses
This is not a problem with sports, if sports was left alone I promise you the coach wouldn't be volunteering to go give a recap of a 3 nothing loss to a team outside the division in the middle of the season
Fun fact it's crap like this that makes me not care about sports. Like the core is interesting but everything around it is just fluff I don't care for and can't care for. Unironically I've watched folks play sports video games and have been thoroughly invested because it's just the meat of it all l.
I know Scott Adams is not someone to be promoted for his personal views, but Dilbert is so much a reflection of reality it's unreal.

It's because Adams just drew the stories other people sent him.
“because of inflation, costs are rising”
It's so hard to refute this one. They're obviously closely linked, but that makes associations so much stronger in people's minds.
I remember physics class. Our teacher was desperately trying to explain that, in circular motion, the resulting force is THE RESULT of adding all others, and that resulting force results in circular motion, not some magical additional force because something is turning. Just like your quote, cause and effect were reversed. (Resp. rather, instead of cause, rising costs are inflation.)
The more common way these guys increase profit is by lowering costs, and the only way they've figure out how to do that is by laying off a bunch of people, so this is actually a step in the right direction at least.
Now I'm wondering whether their solution is to appeal to more customers or to raise prices. What am I saying. Of course it's the latter.
the only way they’ve figure out how to do that is by laying off a bunch of people
Weirdly enough, another way to lower costs would be to have everybody work from home so you don't have to pay for office space. Yet the overwhelming trend is away from WFH.
They ended up laying off a bunch of people either way. Still unprofitable though.
I mean, if "making money" = revenue, then increasing revenue, assuming you're making a profit, will increase profits..but you could also work on your costs and increase profits while keeping revenue constant
This is like the tips on a loading screen.
"If you are dying often, try using healing potions" "Try focusing on an enemy's weak points"
I remember borrowing a friend's MBA textbook just for laughs. I particularly remember the chapter on "Negotiating", which included a boxed section that said "Your skill at negotiating will affect the outcome of the negotiations."
This reads like a loading screen tip
“How good you are at something will dictate how good you are at that thing.”
I know someone who told me (in French) M.B.A stands for "Moins Bon qu'Avant", that translates to "less good than before".
That does make sense in a The Art of War way. There is no magic thing you can do that will automatically finish the negotiations in your favour, you need to actually use your own skills.
Dont take Flatulia if you're allergic to the ingredients in Flatulia. Ask your doctor about taking Flatulia
Reminds me of Peggy Hill:
The day before Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, one of the busiest travel days of the year.
One of my old jobs had me trying to turn the word salad our business lead told our clients into web apps. It’s truly amazing how someone can say so much and yet so little while convincing people to pay money for it. I ended up just having to best-guess what their business needs were on my own. That experience was honestly valuable in seeing through the blather - Jensen Huang with DLSS 5 the other day was a good example.
It's by design.
If you "best guess" up a success based on no actionable guidance, they take all the credit, you only did what you were told, like any common peon, they had the "real vision".
If your best guess falls, well your execution failed their brilliant insight. Not their fault, circumstances failed to get them the right people.
Yup, that’s why I left that job. Was sick of being berated by clients. Now I work in the games industry… I may be a masochist.
One of my old bosses complained I asked too many questions about requirements. They'd give me poorly defined tasks and I'd be like "what do you want it to do when the user has no name in the system?". Then they'd get annoyed.
But if I just made a decision, like sorting my ID, they'd be like "that's stupid why didn't you sort by sign up date?"
I choose to believe this is some sort of shibboleth
like throwing the most inane business speak at each other somehow confirms that they are a real business person and not some guy in a suit that would never think to say something so vapid and devoid of actual meaning
It's as if being able to say dumb shit like this without feeling self-conscious demonstrates that your thinking has a sort of ethical ambiguity about it that means you'll go along with whatever to make the shareholders and your fellow c-suite drones more money. It also seems like it could be sort of a personal thought-terminating cliche, as in, "I'm not going to think too hard about the effects of the next round of layoffs, because a more efficient company will make more progress, and progress is moving forward."
You could replace this man with ChatGPT and his company would be more successful.
With the experiment that I believe Anthropic made I wouldn't even be sure of that
Was that the one where the AI couldn't even manage a vending machine?
To be fair if humans couldn't directly fuck with the bot and it only had sales data and a catalogue, I think it could competently run the vending machine.
The issue is that the unholy drink cloaca coke freestyle machines do it better without AI.
The Business Management Class is a bloated demographic sector that is 90% redundant, and nobody is more aware of it that they are. They know the fasted way to increased profits is to fire them, so they are desperate to justify their importance, and throw underlings under the bus instead of themselves.
There's a lot of anime and hero stories that have a speech like this, a tautology about moving forward when the characters are unsure about their actions.
The worst part is, it can be destructive. Like, when one Nazi says to another, "Hey...should we really be killing all these Jews instead of just deporting them like we originally planned?" And this kind of phrase, when given in response, is meant to inspire some form of persistence to the current course, no matter how stupid or horrible it is.
The explanation that I heard was that Hitler was originally trying to get rid of all of the Jews in the countries that he conquered, but he eventually decided that he wanted to conquer the entire planet.
top 99 comments