No dad it's not hormones I just accidentally tapped my card at the store and instantly grew a set of boobs.

Paying for things is feminine. You should punch the cashier and shout “this is mine!” like a real man.

/s, obviously

Instructions unclear, my penis is stuck in a card reader and I have a lifetime ban from Chipotle.

When I was a cashier, there was definitely a subset of people - usually the same people wearing maga hats - who did refuse to use the tap. They believed it was insecure. I looked it up, it's slightly more secure than the chip (if only because contactless systems are not yet susceptible to counterfeit card reader attachments).

It was pretty annoying too, because I was frequently stationed at a register that had a broken chip reader. Some people would get frustrated very quickly and, like, start rage-jamming the card into the machine repeatedly. It's kind of scary how many people go from 0-60 unhinged at checkout.

After learning about the security aspect, and because of that broken reader, I made it a point to educate everyone I could about the tap. A lot of people aren't even aware their card can do that stuff.

This pairs well with my draft article “Penetration fascination slows wireless charging adoption”

Can someone make a shitty shop of a card reader with a card in it and a aheago face please?

What is wrong with straight people? Are they okay?

Why are y'all taking this seriously?

As a straight person, I can safely say "no". Please send help

broke: tapping your card
woke: thrusting it
bespoke: not making any contact with the terminal to assert dominance

For true contactless payment I do neither. I just hover my card / handset near the reader.

Is there something I should know about myself?

This guy has definitely fucked a chip reader.

And if you hover instead of tap?

the seconds sentence is like satire but it's twitter so idk

There is nothing more fragile than the masculinity of "bros" who worship masculinity.

I do the thrust, but it's because I'm old and forget that tapping is an option.

That is so needlessly and intensely erotic

Penetrative thrust into the chip reader 😩

Real men take what they want and don't apologize. If you're not serving 25-life for multiple petty robberies that escalated to attempted murder for no discernible reason other than insecurity about your dick size then you're not a real man.

Nonsense. You assert dominance by laying your credit dick across its POS face. Nothing fem about that.

I usually end up rubbing mine all over the terminal because each one seems to be a special snowflake with the NFC spot and I can just hear the voice in my head: "That's not it... That's not it either" then the cashier has to show me exactly where it is.

Here's exactly what my feed looks like. I'd say this is further evidence that the straights are not okay.

I insert mine vigorously because my NFC chip doesn't seem to work reliably.

Now I might remember to look them in the eye while I transact.

i only ever tapped my card---- despite some times where it didnt work-

anyway - this is almost certainly a joke kinda post ~ ~

Actually the chip slot is a bussy, and therefore gay