Be it a personality quirk, something they're wearing, or just the way they look. What makes them instantly hot?

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[–] 72 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Bravery. My wife she's a revolutionary. She was on the street when they kicked out the dictator and they were shooting real bullets. I admire her

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  • [–] 88 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    Compassion for the vulnerable and weak.

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  • [–] 32 points 1 year ago (8 children)

    Single straight man that works in child care. Let me tell you, single mom's treat compassion like catnip. I keep them as far away from me outside of the school environment because me simply enjoying my job which naturally involves compassion is intoxicating to them.

    Hard pass for me dating a single mom but if you are having a hard time as a straight single man dating (only perspective I can give advice on) is to be genuine and compassionate. Instant attraction for 99% of women looking for partners.

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  • [+] -6 points 1 year ago* (7 children)

    Ive become a bit of a cynic in this area and I think the women seeing your passion for child care and being a nice guy... They know they can wrap you around their fingers and get a lot of benefit from you.

    Nice guys like yourself need to be very careful around todays women.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    Toxic people mistake kindness for weakness and you just told on yourself, assuming everyone thinks the way you do.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Amazing analys doctor, but I think you may be seeing yourself in this rather than me...

    Im not very toxic, just very honest about what I see. Even when its unpopular.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    So. toxic, then, with no filter.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (2 children)

    If you cant understand basic things, then sure. Very toxic. Lol.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    You told a guy who does childcare that women know they can wrap him round their finger, which iabsolutely is mistaking kindness for weakness, a very negative way of thinking, which is the toxic bit.

    You don't see at as toxic, but others do and you know it's unpopular but you do it anyway, which is the no filter bit.

    Unapologetic and unwilling to reconsider your position, you then start insulting people and being snarky, which is both toxic and lacking a filter.

    I won't be surprised if you double down and go more abusive and dismissive in response to what I've said because you clearly see no intrinsic merit whatsoever in kindness, so why would you hold back from the nastiest you could be?

    Some of us learned social lessons at school (alongside academic content). Trump did neither, and thinks that playground bullying is strength. Be less Trumpy.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago

    I think he should be careful, yeah. Then after that, you read a whole lot more into that... :)

    We dont know eachother, but its fun to see how you interpret these things and how you think im being toxic.

    I dont think we are ever gonna agree on this topic, so... See you around Lemmy. :)

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  • [–] 34 points 1 year ago

    Kindness, low ego, emotional intelligence, positive mindset.

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  • [–] 67 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I'm going to be so shallow as to claim that if they look attractive, I find that instantly hot.

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  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago

    Intelligence

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  • [–] 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

    Anti-consumerism, it's a shame so few people possess it.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    This is also something that I deeply value. And even in today's world, in which anti-consumption should probably be a priority for pretty much everyone, I rarely find someone that values that.

    And where is the hate for corporations? Everyone walking around as if they were a walking billboard, with branding in pretty much every item they own.. Yikes yikes yikes.

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  • [–] 52 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I'm a lonely male so the answer is if they give me a modicum of attention and kindness.

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  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago
    [–] 22 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Unfortunately, I seem to favor the neurotic. It's not a thing I can control. I know damn well not to act on it, but attraction/infatuation can be a bastard sometimes. On the flip side, on the not-instant side of things, plenty of togetherness and shows of affection and tenderness can also call forth attraction over time.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    In my experience the greater the emotional challenges the person has to face, the more amazing they are at sex

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Idk man, got called a rapist when she previously consented.

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  • [–] 22 points 1 year ago
    [–] 19 points 1 year ago

    To me it's passion. Talking about their topic of predilection with fire in their eyes. That does it

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  • [–] 19 points 1 year ago
    1. That they give a shit about other people, and contribute in some way to their community/society.
    2. Capacity for/evidence of personal growth. This one's not always easy to see, but it's amazing when you do.
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  • [–] 50 points 1 year ago (7 children)
  • [–] 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)
  • [–] 16 points 1 year ago

    Not easily predictable without being completely random.

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  • Passion. Idc if they like fixing up cars, playing guitar or painting. Although that's not something instant. It's more on a getting to know them basis but oh well xD

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago

    Unapologetic intellectual curiosity! I absolutely love being around people who love learning new things and who get excited to find out more when they discover a new topic.
    It's one of the first qualities that really stood out when I first met my husband - in a University lecture with 1000 people, he just nonchalantly sat down in the frontmost row because that's where he could hear the professor the best and ask questions. No shyness or awkwardness about it, which I found incredibly inspiring for some reason! I usually hid in one of the back rows because I was massively overthinking everything and afraid that the professor might call me out when he sees me not paying attention.

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago

    Being able to sing well.

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago

    A genuine smile.

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  • [–] 37 points 1 year ago (5 children)

    It used to be a pulse, but at my age I can't be so picky.

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    Feels like digging up corpses is something you'd need youth for

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  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Sure, but how many of them do you bring?

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  • [–] 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Being my wife

    Tap for spoilerHi honey 🥹

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  • [–] 13 points 1 year ago

    A really nice voice.

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  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

    Most people are going to say personality, but I am going to go with breast size.

    A quote (or mis-quote) from "So I Married an Axe Murderer" https://youtu.be/W_ENWgPmXnY?t=134

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago* (1 child)

    Instantly? It’s a somewhat vague term, but magnanimity, having “loftiness of spirit.” To me, it means that when they enter a room they carry a subtle gravity. Their eyes are focused on what and who is around them, taking in each in turn with a clear understanding of what they see but a respect for what they don’t. A trim smile that welcomes greetings and promises warm words in return. They breathe with the calm ease of someone healthy and comfortable in their own skin, and with each step they appear to not just approach their physical destination, but their own personal fulfillment.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago

    Aside from all the things that are instant turn-offs...

    Being hopeful.
    Also seem to get drawn to BPD

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

    Instantly hot? Sexuality. Dressing in clothing that shows off their body, the way they smile, being flirty, a sparkle in their eye, etc.

    Being hot is just about attraction to me. It tells me they can be fun. Now, you can tank that hotness in an instant by being rude to a waiter, being shallow, unable to hold a conversation, etc. In my experience hot people tend to have weaker personalities because they don't have to work on them as much. Hot is often not worth it, but it can be... hot.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    A good wink. A guy can be medium attractive or not my type, but if they make a little joke and then give me individually a subtle wink, I'm smitten.

    Not talking about a compliment followed by a wink. A joke, and then they let me in on it with them with a wink.

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  • [–] 14 points 1 year ago (4 children)

    I am the total opposite, if you wink at me I'm going to be wholly creeped out.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (1 child)

    How do you feel if someone who is not medium attractive winks at you?

    Or if they just say something weird, like a joke you don't appreciate, and wink at you?

    I guess there has to be some kind of established not-a-creepy-stranger before risking a wink becomes appropriate.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Physically unattractive, but a good wink would still pique my interest, but it's never happened to me. Winking is kind of rare. It's like proof that they're fast, clever, and confident, and that they desire a rapport with me.

    Yes, the wink has to be paired with something clever, or wise, or nice. Some kind of friendly banter. You'd have to be already attractive to wink out of the blue, but if you're already attractive and you wink, I'd probably like that too. It's conveying interest. It's conspiratorial and playful.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    A nice, plump dumper.

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  • [–] 26 points 1 year ago

    Belief in and support for Universal Basic Income.

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  • [–] 9 points 1 year ago (7 children)

    When someone laughs at my jokes they instantly become more attractive.

    It's not the only thing needed to make someone hot - I don't think I know of one thing that would do the trick regardless of anything else... but it's a big leap towards it for anyone, because it combines them laughing and having fun (which is attractive) with making me feel appreciated and included and good about myself (which opens me up socially to feel attraction).

    On the flip side, someone who doesn't laugh at my jokes will become irrevocably unattractive regardless of anything else.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    For me, I’m good as long as they “get” the joke. If they think I’m abysmally unfunny, especially if they audibly groan, that’s just as good

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    I suppose, as long as they actually enjoy it - painful groan or not.

    I'm luckily not attracted to people who don't enjoy my company, hopefully neither are you.

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    I think it’s impossible to tell? Terrible abusive relationship with someone who starts off and you’re the light of their world, compared to someone who actively avoided you for years and then ends up being a bestie for life. Yeah

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 1 year ago (3 children)

    Interesting, let's hear your best joke then

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  • [–] 24 points 1 year ago (4 children)
  • [–] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Fine, you're my wing man. I'll take the flat-chested friend, you get the thick one.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 year ago

    The combination of a high EQ and IQ.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)
  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    I confuse "attractive" and "naked" on a regular basis. I frequently have to remind myself to consider if I am seeing an attractive person, or just a person who currently is not wearing many clothes.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    Being hot and horny does it for me.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago

    It's 2: Intelligent and kind

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  • [–] 12 points 1 year ago
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