Hey, Chime? You can work on your creative writing when the changelog is done.

This sort of shit ought to be banned.

I would rather no change log than the LLM generated fall thing… that was a waste of time to read.

We made our interface SUCK! Can you change it back? NO!

FUCK YOU

The obvious answer is there's no human at the helm recording changes, it's just the next build. You'll take it and you'll like it.

• more ads
• more pointless notifications
• taken out that one thing you actually liked and put it behind a paywall

OMG, thank you! Until now I thought I was the only person to be fucking annoyed by this shit.

You expect them to admit:

• Implemented more aggressive collection of personal data to sell to advertisers.

• Advertisers of medical and beauty supplements are now suggested to your teenage daughter if she deleted her picture minutes after not receieving likes.

• Users who advocate for neonazi and genocidal idologies now get suggested to each other to better promote and organize which returns higher profit of targetted advertisements as their usage time and activities increase together.

• As part of our new monitoring and speech policy, users are now allowed to use the word retard, removed, f-word, tranny, and n-word with hard R without their posts getting flagged or reviewed which allows for better targetted advertisements and higher revenue for the Zuck.

• Data collection now includes geophraphical tracking of your friends and intrests of people you follow giving higher revenue for shareholders.

• Implemented analysis of background data collection of users usage and screen time, which gives higher profits per click to our targetted adveretisers.

just trust us bro, no spyware in here, bro.

Facebook is one of the worst:

I can understand a banking app such as Chime* wanting to obfuscate whatever bugs or potential exploits they’ve come across and patched - to prevent users on older versions from being targeted; but the rest of those examples are utterly bullshit.

I put forward Duolingo as another egregious example of this bullshit:

“We’re updating the segmentation logic of our A/B test infrastructure to downgrade its respect for the CloudFlare score when deciding whether or not to mark a session as coming from a bot. This was skewing the data on several of our start screen UI experiments, particularly within APAC data.”

Sometimes, you really don’t want to hear it ;D

Patch notes:

• A bunch of stuff you won't like it need

changelogs should be legally mandated on app stores

chime: a PM asked an AI to write this after the only dev that knew how to do this quit

Discord: The PM was frustrated with the devs not summarizing this release crap that no one cares about anyway and hid it behind a link ah that's so much cleaner now.

Instagram: fuck you

Linphone:

Even Google does the same with almost every app like Maps, Files, Chrome.

Ahow many updates receives an app, is now considered a "good" metric somehow now. So now if dependabot pushes a PR, it's a new release on the app stores (of course without testing)

The algorithms on the app stores now consider the app "active" and push the app "up" in ranking

There was a certain billionaire bragging about his app getting 3 vibe-coded updates a day while the competition "only" got 3 a week

So, they can't write a real change log. What can they write? "Dependabot updated leftpad from 1.1.3.2 to 1.1.3.3" "untested: updated Gradle from 8.14.2 to 8.14.3" "200mb update to change a comma in the Hungarian translation"

"performance improvements and bug fixes"

It least Instagram straight up doesn't give a changelog, rather than letting you read dumb exposition that tells you nothing. (Thats still crap tho)

Modern mobile app development almost always releases features gradually behind feature flags, so changelogging things is not necessarily practical to do.

That's been a joke in the Playstation community for years now:

"Stability Improvements."

Well, shit, we must have the most stable system in the universe at this point...

"We are hard at work making discord work better for you"

While content being completely locked away inside proprietary app.

I dont know, I feel like all these fake messages are quite dystopian. What happened to actually treating users as intelligent? I guess maybe today most users dont know anything about tech so thats why this is happening.

Pumpkins and... hay...?

"Bugfixes and performance improvements"

I see that one all the time from big companies because it sounds nice and tells you nothing.

One of those updates a few years included embedding adware. So, thanks for that... jackhole

That Chime one is the sloppest AI slop I've seen today.

Also fuck all these ads reminding me its going to be cold soon.

"General system stability improvements to enhance the user's experience."

Youtube also does this. Basically it says "To see list of changes, look in the app guide" or something like that; no morons, I want to know what you changed BEFORE updating.

I think a lot of times they don’t want you to know what’s been updated. For instance, pointing out all the bugs you’re fixing might make your app look like it’s always full of bugs. Or the security fix might draw attention to issues that exist for currently outdated apps.

Not saying it’s a good reason, but maybe that’s their thought process.

I asked this on the Motorola sub when i first got my phone and no one gives a shit.

The changelog was always something like "various bugfixes and stability updates". removed, what did you do?

Also happens with some apps on fdroid. "Update available" - click to see, nothing there

The first one is cute one time. When it starts to become a pattern, it’s laziness. Especially when it’s copypasta, which it usually is.

My bank's app recently went like "We've implemented a feature if you use our widget, and also one hidden feature." Like fucking just tell me what the fuck that's about? I'm not looking for easter eggs in my fucking bank app.

AFAIK discord does it on the app.
But its more convenient if they added it to the changelog.

Slack does this all the time.

Whats New in this Textra update?

• Bug fixes

• Improvements

Because there's a very strict character limit on the Google Play store side for update messages. So if it's a bigger update, all I can do is put a summary of the changelog there.

Every single google made app does this, why would anyone else do anything different if the creators aren't willing to put In the effort either?

Change logs are kinda hard to do in a CI/CD environment because of the way that development style works.

It's actually pretty challenging in general. Not sure you've ever built a change log before but it's a pretty interesting exercise thats easier said then done. Even open source logs just copy paste the commit log which can be not all that helpful.

Change long Probably be like

-- Fixed typo that corrupted the database

-- Fixed hardcoded credentials

A developer here, I usually list user - facing changes in the Changelog.

Even if the changes are not listed, general "bug fixes and performance improvements" is a worthwhile update too. These updates can contain fixes to annoying UX glitches, or really speed up the app, if a new faster API endpoint was added to the backend, and app change is needed to make use of it. You will also get security updates, to the app and its bundled libraries which is important nowadays.

Welcome, your Ford Pinto is fully up to date!

I always just blame Dave and his bugs.

"Mariah thawing"

That's grim

Wish we could upload videos, I recorded this exact same issue a few days ago with Spotify. I use a modded Spotify and curious to the updates. Thus I checked their App Store and this what’s been spammed on their App Store page;

“We are continuously busy making Spotify much better! Don’t want to miss anything? Make sure you have automatic updates on!”