I see your username and know this is a fucking trap!

It's unusual, depends does he like it and why do you want to buy him that?

Lol don't

I... Uh... Might have been raised in a culture that is quite different from yours, but I'd say very abnormal.

Pretty weird.

That’s old enough they can buy their own.

Is it like a really passive aggressive sign mom doesn’t like their gf?

This is rather high on the cringe list.

Very. When I want to get off, I don’t want my Mum involved.

"Abnormal" is pretty clear - this isn't something I'd expect to see from one mom in a thousand - maybe ten thousand.

But so what? I doubt it's an unhealthy act or situation, so fuck those other 9,999 moms! Actually, don't - you have a fleshlight.

I’d be super curious to hear the context if you’re willing/able to share, but it all depends on the relationship between the mother and son. It strikes me as a bit weird and abnormal, and certainly embarrassing, but if you normally talk about sex in an open and healthy way with her, then this might not be as weird as it seems. Parents know their kids play with themselves, and it’s usually healthier to be open about it than to stigmatize it, but actively buying this kind of thing for her son is a bit much in my opinion…

It depends - are their arms broken?

It's an unusual gift and would make most people incredibly awkward but there's nothing sinister in the act itself, absent of the context. People gift things like guns and alcohol and I would argue those do more harm.

Ignoring context, it would be unusual, but not inherently worrying. There's plenty of mothers that help guide their daughters to an age appropriate sex toy, and some that will do the same for their sons. Rarer, there are fathers that will do so, but men have to worry more about external opinions about such. A mothers buys a dildo for their kid, the default assumption is that it's weird, but not bad. A father does it, and the default assumption is that he's over the line.

That being said parents should be the default source is advice about such things, because a bunch of young idiots (as opposed to old idiots) trying to advise each other about things they don't have much experience with is a recipe for hospital visits.

In terms of general purpose guidance, and funding/ordering sex toys, there's nothing wrong with a parent helping their kids in that way, assuming care is taken. There's even an argument to be made that verbal instructions on safe use are even to be encouraged, and helpful hints aren't exactly out of line (for real, a lot of young people masturbate in unhealthy ways that just a few sentences could prevent much trouble down the line).

In context, with the info you provided in comments, the mother in question is not being a good parent in this case, so it fits the word abnormal in the sense that it is unhealthy.

It's entirely possible for a mother & son to have a loving, honest, and very Open relationship. They can discuss anything and be supportive.

Giving that kind of gift could fit right in with the dynamic. Or, a family could enjoy giving "gag gifts" and it could be one of those.

It does not have to be a weird or bizarre gift.

Same energy as grandad buying his grandson a sex doll. Make sure to not buy the Gazorpazorps Gwendolyn model.

Only if it's a present the size of a car in the garage and you invite everyone over to witness him unwrap it.

It's not out of the realm of possibility that it's normal for your family, but for most families that wouldn't be normal.

If you're family is open about being sex positive, if talking with your parents about masturbating wasn't weird as a teenager, then I don't think it's that weird of a college send off gift.

I didn't know what a fleshlight was and assumed OP misspelt Flashlight, assuming OP expected something bigger for their 18th birthday. Needless to say, the comments were quite confusing.

between a scale of "giving your kid condoms and the talk on prom night" and "mother measures my penis every weekend at bath time” this is a solid "my mother bought me a fleshlight so I remember her every time I crank it".

Jesus dude...I'm sorry. and if you're into that shit...congratulations?

its extremely wierd, and getting close to oedipus/fruedian territory. maybe as a gag gift, if the son is doing something like porn, but even that is sitll wierd.

I'm going against the majority.

It can be made into a weird situation, but the act itself is pragmatic and likely comes from a caring place.

Every parent with a son knows that theyre buffing the helmet any chance they get as teenagers. They're gonna make messes, ruin washcloths, use all the hand lotion, etc. Any parent who thinks their son ain't beating their meat like it owes them money is delusional. Long before your kids get to masturbation age, the parent(s) should have talked about it. If you wait until they get to the age of shame, that is going to be an uncomfortable and unproductive conversation. If you have had an ongoing and open dialog about sex, masturbation, their bodies and other topics, talking about some of the details later will not be a taboo topic. Thusly if the parent offers a masturbatory device to the child, it won't be weird unless someone wants to make it that way. If the conversations have not taken place and you still want to get your kid a sex toy, you could just order something online and leave it for them without saying anything. You could also get them a gift card to the sex store so they can get something for themself. While I presume most teenage boys dont want to share their private acts of self - gratification with their parent, there is no reason why there cannot be practical honesty about them. Get your kid a sex toy, leave it in his room, and unless he wants to talk about it, assume that he will get many hours of satisfaction from it.

If context makes it worse then were already not in a good place my guy

I'm gonna go with somewhere around super duper.

In on itself it's not directly red flags I'd say. It depends on the family, it depends on a lot of things. Maybe they're just oen about sexuality and don't see it as a big deal. As long as there is no abuse involved, I think it should be fine.

It's unusual for sure and I'm guessing that if the birthday boy opened up this present in public this would have caused a lot of uncomfortable laughter, sure.

As far as societal norms go, a 9/10.

As far as actually being unhealthy? Depends. If this is a sex positive, giving you the tools you need, and being supportive type of thing, i would say this is unconventional but healthy. If it's some sort of personal involvement or insertion into your sex life, I would say this is very unhealthy.

Your mom getting involved in any sort of sexual topic can be really uncomfortable, but that doesn't make it wrong, it just needs to be in a healthy, mature, and appropriate way.

Pretty expensive gift. Most fleshlights are pretty expensive. Do what you will with that info.

Quite abnormal. Not bad, though.

Is your mom an English sex therapist? Do you give sex advice in an abandoned bathroom stall?

Super fucking weird

Depends on if you gifted her a dildo prior.

How about a card filled with 150 bucks. Then a joke on it....go by a fleshlight or take a girl out on a date. Happy Birthday!

Buying one straight up is just plain odd and should not happen.

First time I went into a sex shop was as a kid with my parents. They wanted to buy my brother a gag gift because he stayed home alone for the first time while we went on vacation. They settled on penis pasta (warning, increase in size when cooked) while I tried to appear to not be looking at anything.

Yeah, buying your kid sex stuff is generally seen as weird. But ultimately only you can say how your family does things.

I thought it was weird when my parents bought me a Sports Illustrated swimsuit calendar when I was around that age. So... yah... that's not normal.

Very weird, almost enough to not make eye contact for a couple months.

I wouldn't want to think of my mother when I look at my fleshlight

Is it weird as in the sense of being uncommon? Yes.

Is it weird in the sense of being gross or harmful? No.

"Normal" people tend to be prudish as fuck about sex and won't even talk about it even for the sake of education. Normalize buying sex toys for your sex-aged sons and daughters. Normalize talking about sex. Normalize not being embarassed about sex.

I cant say if it's because of the sex stigma in the usa or because it's just weird

Context could make it better I guess - like maybe the sons a sex/porn addict or something along those lines.

But you said this particular context makes it worse (and the only worse context I can think of right now is she had it molded to herself) so I would have to say it's pretty abnormal.

my mom bought me playboys back in the day somewhere around my 14th/15th birthday and I was pretty weirded out by that relatively 'benign' act.

• Talking about sex: Perfectly healthy and is something every parent should do.
• Talking about sex toys and flashlights: Also perfectly normal.
• Requesting/offering help in purchasing a flashlight (e.g. take my credit card and buy something under my name or driving them to a sex shop): Normal
• Choosing the fleshlight for them and thus making the decision in exactly what kind of sensations they experience while masturbating: Out of bounds.