I mean Match group certainly carries a lot of the blame. But at some point you gotta acknowledge there's also just a lot of shitty people there to just waste your time on both sides of the fence

Remember, they make money when you use the app. If you meet an actual good match, you don't need the app anymore.

Thusly, the whole point is not to find you a good person, it is to make money by keeping you on the app.

This sort of technology could be amazing for finding people of the same interests and background, but instead its a slot machine with faces. That's why the pix are the primary interface and not a bunch of filters based on personality, interest, etc.

fits well

Where you're not supposed to approach people cause it's seen as intrusive?

So maybe like a wading pool?

this doesn't even have an option for me.

haha no thanks I'm not using that.

a fever swamp but its too shallow to drink from, you can only stick your dick in the mud. which does have great suction.

My problem lies in approaching them in the first place.

My fiancé approached me and that's the only reason we're together.

Now that I think about it that's the only reason I've ever been in a relationship

The bar is low and made of soap

I’m not quite sure how to say this, but the bar is definitely above there. I’m sure many women have these stories of people falling below it and having lowered their standards, but there are also guys (like me) that have received zero to zero attention while being very socially open in a lot of contexts.

Worse, there’s often a conclusive reaction of “If that’s the case, you must be doing something wrong”. I know I’m not my own best judge, but I don’t believe that. I show interest in people’s lives and hardship, be kind, stay clean, and it doesn’t appear to make a difference.

People as a whole (not just women) are less prone to haphazard connections than they used to be. More generally, it ties in with the difficulty making friends as an adult. Attractiveness concerns could tie into that, but I can’t say for sure.

Absolutely this!

I'm not particularly good looking and I've been overweight/unfit my entire life.

I have NEVER had problems getting dates or getting laid. I'm polyamorus these days, which narrows down the dating pool quite a bit and it still is not an issue.

The secret is just...be honest? Be authentic and treat people like people, regardless of their gender.

The bar really is low.

My worst date (not 1st date, I think 3rd?). Me and this very tall and attractive woman were getting ready for some sexy time and when I brought out a condom she flipped out, said something along the lines of "ARE YOU CALLING ME A WHORE?!" and stormed out. I, of course, ignored this giant red flag because I was very horny and she was hot and tall. Over the next few months I found out how crazy she really was and finally ended it.

I haven't had a lot of bad dates, but that's because I only date friends. If a guy can't handle being in the friend zone first, he's failed the vetting process.

I worded that poorly.

The emotion I feel is somewhere between confusion, shaking my head, and wanting to slap someone in the face. I’m not ashamed of being male, but I do not appreciate others representing my sex so… negatively