I'd say to them the same thing I say to anyone else.

"Hi. What floor? Have a good night."

What is this, an Axe commercial?

“I use Arch, by the way”

I take my job very seriously. They're gonna have to work pretty hard if they want that blend of 11 herbs and spices.

Opener? I barely know 'er!

why would you use an "opener" on random people getting into an elevator with you?

Bathroom's down the hall.

I feel it's wise to have a realistic appraisal of oneself, and broke, damaged, and almost 50 ain't landing 1 or 2 college girls. Hell I couldn't do that in my 20s or 30s.

Politely nothing. If they want to know my secrets, they will have to work for it. That way I’m also not bothering some strangers who don’t deserve to be randomly harassed.

Probably miss obvious attempts of being hit on.

"What floor you guys going to?" "Oh, we're GOING DOWN." "OK, so like, ground floor or basement?" "Oh we dont mean the elevator." ".... did you mean the stairs?"

Honey isn't vegan

Honey will be whatever you want her to be if you're an important enough asset.

/ I'm here all week!

Um, this elevator is taken, you will need to wait for the next one.

Than fart real loud.

They look like Republicans. Hard pass.