ROFLMAO perchance

Not in the context I'm alluding to. With conventional banking, the only place to move money to is another bank. You can withdraw cash at an ATM, but large transfers have to go to another bank. If someone hacks my bank account and initiates a large transfer, that transaction can be reversed. And moreover, it will be going to an account at another bank that is owned by a known customer.

But crypto exchanges must have the ability to transfer to unvetted crypto wallets. No crypto customer would accept an exchange that simply didn't let you transfer coins to your own private wallet. So even though the accounts themselves have KYC, you can still hack a crypto account and send the entire balance to an unknown person.

The equivalent for regular banks would be if your regular bank offered you the option to send a large cash withdrawal to a physical address of your choice. Enter any address, and any amount of your funds can be sent to any address you specify. The closest banks have to that is bill pay, and even that is just a bank to bank transfer in the form of a check in the mail.

The closest real banks actually get to this is wire transfers, and those are pretty locked down nowadays. They often require going to a physical branch, showing ID, etc in order to initiate a wire transfer. They're locked down precisely because they're the one irreversible transaction built into the regular banking system.

Crypto bros often fail to realize what actually secures the banking system. The banking system is not secured by foolproof cryptography. The cryptographic security of crypto solves a problem that doesn't exist. Every bank is not the gold standard of IT security. Rather, what really secures the banking system is that there's not much you can actually do with stolen bank login credentials. Pretty much every way you could move money out of said bank account would require you to show your face somewhere or transfer funds to an account traced to your real ID. And pretty much any method of moving money out of a bank account can be reversed.

Because it's the bank, financial institutions and the trail of transactions registered to known entities who say whose the money is. For crypto you only need the keys and it is yours.

Closest by far is Monero. They are actually willing to spend it as a currency, and when looking at statistics from companies that accept different cryptocurrencies, Monero is always either number one or number two on the list.

You can use decentralized exchanges.

they're not that useful in your own wallet because then you constantly need to move them in/out of the exchange and pay all the fees related to those transactions.

Hot wallets are for small amounts for daily spending

It's the same as constantly going to the ATM to get cash in your wallet....

Nobody carries around their whole net worth in their pockets