What if it's him or me?

I will never kill another panda.

Right after this one…

Can I kill one first to know what I'm missing out on? Then I won't kill another.

WDYM another 🤨

How about a compromise? I won't kill anymore pandas on purpose, but if any pandas get in the way of my very legal bamboo clear-cutting operation, then I can't be held responsible for the actions my company would have to take to protect shareholder value!

Sorry can't do it

Ok, but can I at least emotionally maim the panda?

That's like the old trick yes-or-no question, "Have you stopped beating your wife?".

Making promises you can't keep is a path to nobody trusting you. Be careful

Is the licensee notice part of a joke I'm missing?

🤚 I pledge to kill another panda so PMJV doesnt have to

what about after labor day?

Sure do hope no panda will have any hot opinions after this pledge...

Chinese propaganda

What if it's coming right for me, and I have let everyone know that it's coming right for me by shouting "IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME!"?

OK, I'll give in and stop the panda massacre, but can't guarantee my husky will do the same.

The same applies to cats, squirrels, chihuahuas or any small-ish animal that chooses to risk it and dare wander into our backyard.

New here but I'll pledge to kill one or fewer pandas during my short stay on earth.

Remember, red pandas are not really pandas.

People are asking a lot of questions about the panda pledge that are actually very clearly answered by the panda pledge

I don't take oaths. You'll just have to hope I won't.

Ah finally save

I just love how almond milk leaves a weird film on my tongue though

Thank you for making Panda safe content!

No.