You got some shit to work through before you date anyone

It also makes me lose any sexual attraction.

Not sure I understand. Doesn't asexual mean no desire to have sex thus no sexual attraction?

Regardless, how do you show affection and how do you want to receive affection?

My thoughts are that you could search for a poly-amorous or open relationship. If you don't want an asexual man, but are attracted to men, your partner could be with you for everything but sex and have another partner for sex and other things.

With all due respect, that sounds rather concerning. There are many reasons why someone might identify with asexuality, but there is something seriously concerning in what you wrote. I would advise against seeing anyone at this stage, asexual or not.

Do you know why you feel this sort of an extreme response?

As someone that was married to someone that decided that they were asexual after a decade of marriage, and who verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abused me because I'm NOT asexual, and I only got out of the relationship because I failed to complete a suicide, I would strongly advise you to not look for any kind of relationships - including friendships - until you have yourself under control. You are absolutely going to cause harm to anyone that you're in any kind of relationship with unless and until you can get your shit together.

you really left out a lot of info in this post... do you want to date men? do you want to have sexual relationships with them?

assuming the answer to both is "yes", i would recommend seeking out a psychiatrist who specializes in OCD, these intrusive thoughts sound like some of the symptoms of it. a psychiatrist should be able to guide you in treatment methodologies to make these intrusive thoughts less frequent and more manageable, hopefully to the point it doesn't interfere with your life anymore

Um, at most when a guy who says he's asexual advances I don't get mad, I feel disappointed (like everything he said was bs, which yeah, it was oh well). You sound like you need therapy/intervention, not a relationship right now. Like if a man said he wanted to beat me in the head with a piece of glass if I had made an advance on him, I'd like for him to stay the hell away from me too.