People who hate on their spouses, bragging when they're "in the dog house". Divorces exist, Brent, you don't have to stay married to a person you hate.

People who talk excessively loudly and can be heard across the entire office.

People who cough and splutter at their desks instead of staying home until they stop.

Having to be in it.

• poor heating/cooling. Usually offices aren't a comfortable temperature for everybody.

• not getting compensated for the commute. It's a pay cut. Fuck you, management.

• people that just walk up to your desk and start asking questions. Send a message like "can we talk about XYZ?" and I'll get to it when I get to it. Though this maybe is a learned behavior from people who are bad at responding to messages.

What? The mouse came waaaay after keyboards and shortcuts, that makes no sense. They are just lazy and stupid.

Reheating seafood. Don't think I need to elaborate.

This is a pet peeve on myself. I'm in a supervisor position and sometimes I will get frustrated at people because they have a bad work ethic. I have to remember not everyone has the same work ethic as me and I also have an irrational fear of being fired/laid off.

I hate it when people kick off their shoes and put their gross ass feet up on the chairs and desks 😩

Meetings where all the managers say their own thing about cheering on the company.

Just generally having to do all of the office culture stuff when my type of work (programming) is much better done remotely. Having to wake up much earlier than needed to commute all the way to the office dressed up according to their policy, showing up on time and having to be stuck there the whole day even at the times of the day where there's not much work to be done, having to deal with certain coworkers that I'd rather avoid, having managers spending more time trying to pressure you than doing any actual work etc.

Work would be so much better if I could just deal with the problems being solved rather than the corporate rituals we all have to take part in.

"Let's go around the room" #killme

Verbal abuse.

It is somewhat defensible, but installing a coffee machine and not letting other people use it. I am willing to provide my own coffee and clean everything, but it is too tempting to have an espresso machine and not be able to use it.

People walking by in backless shoes that slap against their feet with every step.

I have a coworker who's doing all of our UI and screen designs. Every time he has finished a design he immediately wants to talk about it and randomly calls. Sometimes when he spots small errors in a live project ("this looks a bit wonky in Safari", "the headline here needs three pixels more margin"), he wants me to immediately fix them and gets pissed when I finish my current task first.

Dude, we all have work to do here, yours isn't (always) the most important one. I am very close to escalating this to my boss, because it gets increasingly difficult to ignore it and sometimes it feels like he's cosplaying as my manager.

In short: I hate getting interrupted when I'm in the middle of a task and I hate someone breathing down my neck. I'll get to it when I get to it.

A fucking open office floor plan. A lot of my work took deep concentration. If I didn't have noise cancelling headphones I wouldn't have been able to get anything done. Businesses adopted it because it was cheaper and one or two articles, since refuted, said it was good for collaboration. And nervous managers couldn't possibly imagine that someone they couldn't see was actually working.

They should use a vertical mouse at least!

Patronising tours on your first day where they boast about the great facilities but also lecture you about how to keep the place clean, being considerate to coworkers, not being too loud, etc. I'm not a 8yo.

Dirty lounge chairs because people sit on one and prop their feet up on the next

Not being able to deliver bad news / admit when something has gone wrong

That not everyone has reached the blatantly obvious conclusion that offices are an anachronism, especially those eye sore tall buildings that lay half empty.

When I say something like "^" and they type "caret". Why....

Also putting drinks in the freezer to get them cold faster. Even if you remember 99% of the time: A. No you don't. 2. That's still at least 2 exploded drinks in the freezer every year.

I didn't much care for office lunch events, but the free food usually made up for it... except that time the boss got Chipoltle or whatever its called.