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‘MALL REAPER’ [OC] (an oldie from the archives) (feddit.nl)
submitted 5 days ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
4 comments fedilink
😆 1
 
 
- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - A mall Grim Reaper (not the *real* reaper of course, because it can’t be everywhere at the same time) has a young girl on his lap, while her mother looks at them lovingly. Reaper: SO, LITTLE GIRL… HOW DO YOU WANNA DIE? Girl: FALLING OFF A TABLE AT A FRAT PARTY!
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‘MONSTER MUNCHIES’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 6 days ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
7 comments +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 

Happy Halloween and stuff! 🎃👹🦵

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‘RANDOM FLUFF #153’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 1 week ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
5 comments fedilink
 
 

A stranger on top of danger? 🤔

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - Caption: YOU’VE HEARD OF ELF ON THE SHELF, NOW GET READY FOR… and then we see the Grim Reaper, sitting on top of a Creeper (Minecraft).
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‘WOLF CASE SCENARIO’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 1 week ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a comic strip - - - Two men are being chased by a werewolf. Man 1: FIRE THE BULLET! FIRE THE BULLET! Man 2: EAT SILVER, YOU HAIRY PIECE OF SHIT!!! Man 2 fires his one silver bullet from a small handgun, hitting the werewolf in the face. The creature falls flat on its face. It has a weird, round container strapped to its back. Suddenly, the container pops open and a smaller werewolf jumps out. Man 1: OH NO! A SPARE WOLF!
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‘BLAND’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 2 weeks ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 

A matter of taste, I suppose. 😎

- - - This is a comic strip - - - Renfield has kidnapped a young virgin woman and has brought her to count Dracula. Renfield: I BROUGHT YOU A VIRGIN, MASTER. Dracula: THANK YOU, RENFIELD. YOU DID GOOD. Dracula bites the virgin and takes a sip. Dracula: SO PURE. UNSPOILED. He smacks his lips with a dull expression on his face. Dracula: SAY RENFIELD, CAN YOU BRING ME A PROMISCUOUS SLUT? SOMETHING WITH A BIT MORE FLAVOR? Renfield walks away and rubs his hands in manic delight. Renfield: WITH EASE, MASTER!
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #152’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 3 weeks ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
11 comments fedilink
 
 

Here’s another crappy pun to ruin your day. 😎

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - A medieval executioner made himself look cute by complementing his dark hood with a bright yellow skirt, white socks, and sneakers. As he poses for the audience with his axe and one leg kicked back, he says: I PUT THE CUTE IN EXECUTE. Even the convicted criminal looks up at him from the chopping block with a smile on his face.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #151’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 

Damn, Father Merrin’s been making some serious gains. 💪

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - Caption says: THE FLEXORCIST A muscular priest without sleeves flexes his muscles to lure the demon out of a young girl who is tied to the bed. Priest: THE POWER OF SWOLE COMPELS YOU!
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #150’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
2 comments fedilink
 
 

Way too much work for such a dumb pun, but I don’t care. 😅

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - A professional burglar is standing next to a building at night. He has set up some sort of cannon, loaded with a prostitute, sticking out the end. Burglar: READY? Prostitute: FOR FIFTY BUCKS, I’M READY FOR ANYTHING, HONEY. Caption says: THE BURGLAR GAINED ACCESS TO THE ROOF, USING A GRAPPLING HOOKER.
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‘SMALL TALK’ [OC] - Another misadventure of Joseph Erkhoff, the “forever alone” guy (feddit.nl)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 
- - This is a comic strip - - Joseph Erkhoff and his friend, Rudy, are at a bar. Joseph sees a nice girl and works up the courage to go talk to her. Joseph: OH WOW. I THINK I’M GONNA TALK TO THAT NICE GIRL OVER THERE. Rudy: GO FOR IT, MY DUDE. Joseph: YEAH, I’M GONNA ASK IF SHE WANTS A DRINK, WANTS TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND, GET MARRIED IN LAS VEGAS. Joseph is holding a box with an engagement ring. Rudy grabs Joseph by his shirt. Rudy: STOP STOP STOP STOP! Rudy: DUDE, YOU ALWAYS DO THAT. Joseph: DO WHAT? Rudy: GO TOO FAST. APPEAR TOO EAGER. Joseph: I AM EAGER! Annoyed, Rudy pushes Joseph towards the bar. Rudy: JUST START WITH SMALL TALK FOR ONCE. Joseph: SMALL TALK? LIKE, THE WEATHER? Rudy: SURE. Joseph starts talking to the girl. Joseph: HEY HI HELLO UHM… SO LIKE… WHAT ABOUT THIS WEATHER, HUH? Girl: WHAT ABOUT IT? Rudy observes Joseph’s foolery from a distance. Rudy: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE, JOSEPH. Rudy approaches angrily, as Joseph is giving the girl a detailed weather report, gesturing over a big weather chart. Joseph: SO THIS HIGH PRESSURE FRONT IS PUSHING ALL THIS PRECIPITATION EASTWARDS OVER THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS… Rudy pulls him away. Rudy: YOU’LL HAVE TO EXCUSE MY LITTLE FRIEND. HE GOT KICKED IN THE HEAD BY A DONKEY AS A KID, SO… Joseph: BUT I WAS DOING GREAT! Rudy: NO, YOU WEREN’T. SHUT UP. The girl is alone again and looks a little bedazzled. GIRL: WEIRD. I’M EXPERIENCING HIGH HUMIDITY IN THE SOUTHERN REGION.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #149’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
6 comments fedilink
 
 

This is the best joke I can muster today. I got a headache.

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - A woman is in a mild panic while showing her urine sample to her doctor. Woman: DOCTOR DOCTOR DOCTER!!! IS MY PEE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS ORANGE?!? Her cup contains an actual orange.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #148’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
8 comments fedilink
 
 

Sauce.

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - Caption says: MOVING THE ENTIRE FACTORY. Behind the contractor, we see the ‘Worcestershire Sauce’ factory being moved with heavy machinery. Contractor: IT’S EASIER DONE THAN SAID.
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‘THE FURINAL’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a comic strip - - - At a funeral, two dudebros, Rob and Kyle, are standing next to the casket of their deceased friend Jayson to pay their final respect. Rob: HEY JAYSON, MY DUDE. Kyle: ‘S UP, BRUH. Rob: REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO SAY THAT WE WANTED TO BE BURIED UPSIDE DOWN, SO THAT THE WORLD CAN KISS OUR ASSES? We zoom out a little and see that the corpse has its ass sticking out of the casket into the air. Rob: AND NOW YOU’RE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT! Kyle: THAT’S CRAZY, BRUH! HAHAHA! Rob and Kyle are laughing their asses off. Kyle: EVEN IN DEATH, YOU MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH! Rob: YOU PUT THE “FUN” IN “FUNERAL”! HAHAHA! Kyle: AND YOU PUT THE “URINAL” IN “FUNERAL”! HAHAHAHA! Rob goes quiet and thinks about it for a second. Rob: WAIT… DUDE… THERE’S NO “URINAL” IN “FUNERAL”. We zoom out again. Kyle is emptying his bladder into the open casket. Kyle: OH. MY BAD, BRUH.
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‘THE SOUPENING’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 2 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
7 comments +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 

Do you like soup too? 😋

- - - This is a comic strip - - - We’re in an auditorium. There is a speaker, wearing a dark robe and a hat, shaped like a bowl with a spoon in it. Speaker: DEAR FELLOW SOUP ENTHUSIASTS. TODAY WE HAVE GATHERED… TO… One guy in the audience jumps up, holding up a spoon. Audience member: EAT SOUP?!? The speaker is somewhat annoyed. Speaker: I WAS PAUSING FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT. Then the guy freaks out. Audience member: WHY WOULD YOU PAUSE?!? THE SOUP’S GETTING COLD!!! Next, everybody is eating soup, but while the speaker is quietly eating his soap, he thinks to himself: PHILISTINES.
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‘BED TALK’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
1 comment +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a comic strip - - - Tim and Jamie are lying in bed. Tim snuggles up to Jamie. Tim: HEY FLUFFIE SNUFFIE. Jamie: HEY SNOOKIE POOKIE. Tim: I SAW A WOMAN AT THE GROCERY STORE AND SHE LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU. Jamie: OH REALLY? Jamie: DID YOU FIND HER ATTRACTIVE? Tim’s smile is wiped off of his face, as he realizes he set a trap for himself. Gets nervous, starts sweating. Tim gets up and walks away with his pillow under his arm. Jamie: WHERE ARE YOU GOING, POOKIE? Tim: I’LL GO SLEEP ON THE COUCH. IT’S INEVITABLE.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #147’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - Dad is on his knees at the side of the road, trying to grab something that fell into a curb inlet. Mother talks to her two children. Mother: IT’S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES AN IPHONE.
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‘ARTISTIC LICENSE’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a comic strip - - - NASA HEADQUARTERS, 1976. The mission leader announces the next phase in Voyager 2's mission to a board room full of engineers. Leader: AT SOME POINT, VOYAGER 2 WILL DO A FLYBY OF URANUS. Leader: I HAVE COMMISSIONED AN ILLUSTRATOR TO MAKE A RENDITION OF THIS EVENT. A groovy looking artist wheels in a covered-up painting Then, the artist pulls off the cover to reveal a very NSFW painting of Uranus and Voyager 2. One engineer: MY GOD!!! Another engineer: WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!? One engineer even has a gag reflex. An engineer asks: WHAT IS IT DOING WITH ITS PLASMA WAVE ANTENNAS? Artist: HOLDING THE HOLE OPEN. Engineer: WHERE IS THE MAGNETOMETER BOOM? Artist: INSIDE. The leader gets angry with the artist. Leader: THIS IS PORNOGRAPHY, MAN! Artist: I PUT THE ‘LUST’ IN ILLUSTRATOR. Leader: YOU PUT THE ‘ILL’ IN ILLUSTRATOR. The leader shoves the artist out of the board room. Artist: HEY MAN, ARE YOU DECOMMISSIONING ME?
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #146’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
1 comment fedilink
 
 

“J.A.R.V.I.S., don’t release the hoisting clamps until I say NOW!”

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - Tony Stark is found dead in his private lab, crushed under his Iron Man suit. The police have launched an investigation. The chief inspector looks at the mess and says: THAT’S IRONY, MAN.
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‘AWESOME OPOSSUM’ [OC] (an oldie from the archives) (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
2 comments fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a comic strip - - - Hannah and Regina are hiking in the woods. Hannah: UGH… WE’RE LOST… AND IT’S GETTING DARK. An opossum runs by. Regina: LOOK… AN OPOSSUM! IF WE FOLLOW IT, WE’RE SAVED! Regina starts chasing the little critter. Hannah: WAIT! WHAT?!? WHY ARE WE FOLLOWING THIS ANIMAL? Regina: CUZ IF THERE’S ONE THING THESE FURRY FUCKERS CAN FIND, IT’S… Regina: …ROADS!!! All three are flung into the air after being hit by a car.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #145’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
12 comments fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a slightly naughty one panel comic - - - Two people are in bed, about to get intimate for the first time. One lifts the sheets and looks rather disappointed at the other’s genitals. Caption: I WAS TALKING IN NAUTICAL INCHES.
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‘ALTITUDE’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a comic strip - - - Two airline pilots are sitting in the cockpit of a plane in flight. The copilot is getting worried. Copilot: CAPTAIN, ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE THIS HIGH? The pilot blows out a puff of smoke and hands the copilot a joint. Then it turns out they are not actually in a cockpit. They’re just two stoners on a couch, being high as a kite. Pilot: NO, MAYBE NOT. GOOD CALL.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #144’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
2 comments fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - A frustrated man leaps up from the psychiatrist’s couch and punches the psychiatrist really hard in the face. As the psychiatrist is falling to the ground, bleeding, he says: OK, YOU JUST WENT FROM PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE TO ACTIVE AGGRESSIVE. THIS COULD BE A BREAKTHROUGH.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #142’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
comment +1 crosspost fedilink
 
 

Even dogs know.

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - Two dogs are waiting for their owner to finish filling their food bowls. Younger dog: SNIFF SNIFF. WOW, THIS NEW DOG FOOD SMELLS GREAT!!! Older, more cynical dog: OF COURSE IT DOES. IT WAS DESIGNED BY A SMELLGORITHM.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #141’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Including other people’s. 😶

- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - Caption: JENNIFER WAS ADAMANT ABOUT HOLDING IN FARTS IN CONFINED SPACES. Then we see Jennifer, a sturdily built woman, squeezing the butts of the other passengers on the elevator shut.
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‘RANDOM FLUFF #51’ [OC] (random nonsense from my archive) (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
11 comments fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a one-panel comic - - - Caregivers look after elderly residents in a nursing home. The residents display varying levels of vitality. One caregiver says to another: “DEATH IS A SPECTRUM, YOU KNOW.”
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‘WEAK PASSWORD ’ [OC] (feddit.nl)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/custardfist@feddit.nl
5 comments fedilink
 
 
- - - This is a comic strip - - - Ronald has to enter a password for a new account. We see a text appear that says: YOUR PASSWORD IS **WEAK**! Ronald: OH C’MON! Then we zoom out and we see that there is a big barbarian standing next to him and he was the one who said it. Barbarian: ADD AT LEAST ONE SPECIAL CHARACTER! Ronald, snarkingly: **YOU’RE** THE SPECIAL CHARACTER, HERE!
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