[–] 11 points 3 days ago* (3 children)

You can opt out of civility. Keeping a hand stretched out does not mean that the other hand shouldn't hold a stick, y'know, just in case. If that meme is based on something real, I hope you're doing ok, keep in mind that cowards like to hit you from behind and with others.

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  • [–] 0 points 4 days ago* (1 child)

    No problem, you're welcome. I also paid a small car's worth of money to a fascist oligarch while borrowing the fruits of your work. I, too, am very happy with this.

    But look at the bright side, you too can now pay a small car's worth of money to a fascist oligarch and then get some source code that may or may not be close to my proprietary stuff. You know, the one made from your stuff without attributing. This is fine.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 days ago (1 child)

    It doesn't have to be libido alone, but someone aged 80+ might have lived large chunks of his live in a relationship, and is quite likely to be a widower. It makes sense that they are lonely and want what they had for a large part of their life.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 days ago

    A few things that I haven't read here:

    1. Everyone at work is stressed. Everyone wants to be somewhere else, but has to pay bills. Therefore, don't take it personal if people are angry, frustrated, snap at you or don't want to talk. Many of the people that come across as mean and unfriendly are nice and chill off the clock.

    2. Likewise, accept if people keep their distance. Consider how much distance you want to keep, and how much you trust which coworker. Again, nothing personal, just the way people are. As someone said so nicely, often, politeness is more important than friendliness.

    3. Shared suffering is bonding. "Sucks today, eh?" is a complete sentence and shows that you are on their team. Be careful around talking about specific people or talking politics. And if you do, start slowly. Feel out the other person first, and always consider how big the chance of them being a backstabbing bootlicker is, and how much damage they could do to you in that case. Don't be paranoid either, but don't blindly trust strangers.

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    Bit of a shower thought: Outside of limited circumstances, like interviews or therapy, nobody is really expected to give you honest feedback on how you come across.

    This sucks. I've been told I come across as unfriendly once, but I have no idea if I was just nervous and tired at the time. I still cherish that one moment almost 10 years ago when someone told me I was funny in some corporate team building bs.

    Now, I could ask friends and family, but I believe they would probably not tell me the full, honest truth. After all, they (hopefully) like me and I would probably avoid being too harsh to everyone but very close people in private.

    At the same time, I know plenty of people who really should get some feedback, who probably believe they are funny while everyone is bored and annoyed and hopes they talk a little less and the like.

    So, are there socially accepted ways to get feedback on how you come across?

    I realize that people are strange, relationships are hard, P!=NP and anime is not real. Still, it would be nice to have.

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