Artist Matt Czap

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[–] 103 points 4 months ago (1 child)

On the one hand, yeah. Fragile ass mother fuckers.

On the other hand? You do learn in gender studies that toxic masculine and such is a systemic problem. Boys need hugs and love growing up that they just don't get, and it produces these soft skinned psychopaths who perpetuate that cycle.

But this is a comics community so it's fine however you want to interpret it for lols. Lol

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  • [–] 32 points 4 months ago

    My kiddo gets so many hugs lol. It would be hypocritical to be aware of the issues that patriarchy brings and then turn around and let boys fend for themselves. They need support in this dogshit gendered society in addition to girls.

    I will hold grown ass men accountable for their actions and unwillingness to do the emotional labor to become a good person though.

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  • [–] 126 points 4 months ago (16 children)

    I was never vocal about it but used to be somewhat a "not all men" type of person in my early 20s. At least in my head.

    Then I got diagnosed with autism. Turns out I just don't understand most other men.

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  • [–] 67 points 4 months ago (14 children)

    I honestly thinks that's just a part of it; realizing that you don't have an allegiance to other men just because you're a man yourself.

    I think if woman are willing to talk about men in that way in front of you, it's generally a sign that they trust you enough to be open about their concerns in front of you without you having to push back. I try to hear the concerns they're voicing, do a quick internal check (is this me?) and if it's not, yeah fuck those guys! They're the worst!

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  • [–] 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Hmm, I'm personally not sure whether I'd call it an allegiance. As far as I've seen, it's mostly about belonging to the group being talked about.

    For instance, in the context of the comic "Men's egos can sometimes be fragile" would be parsed as "Your ego can sometimes be fragile" leading to an unconscious feeling of being attacked, which ultimately ends up in an emotional defensive response of trying to separate oneself from the group being talked about ("Not all men!") which, ironically, in this comic's context, only confirms what's being said.

    This is also how I personally parse that woman and the bear thing. Men see themselves as the "random man" and feel personally attacked when someone picks the bear. Emotional defensive responses ensue.

    Nevertheless, I still like the way you phrased it. And asking oneself whether one is what's being talked about might be a great way to dampen the unconcious response.

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  • [–] 16 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    The other side of this is that it’s othering a group and yeah it seems cool to other a group that historically and generally has all the power, so it’s “punching up”

    its still othering and almost bait by design.

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  • [–] 18 points 4 months ago (9 children)

    Yea I eventually learned how to not get offended by the generalizations, prior to the diagnosis, but the whole "taking it literally" thing took a bit to get over

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  • [–] 17 points 4 months ago (8 children)

    Honestly it still bothers me. We are told that generalizations and stereotypes are bad, but when they’re directed and white people or men, they’re okay.

    Listen, I’m not a #NotAllMen type or anything, but it is a frustrating double standard for those of us who’ve grown up knowing not to stereotype or generalize to then get stereotyped and generalized and be told we can’t complain about it.

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  • [–] -1 points 4 months ago (7 children)

    If you’re not the type to generalize or stereotype, then the comic is not talking about you.

    It’s not generalizing all men. Just men whose egos are fragile enough to be offended when this type of interaction is pointed out.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    I’m aware. Like I said, I’m not a #NotAllMen type. I’m not offended by this comic in the slightest. I laughed at it.

    I mean that generally, the double standard can be frustrating. It’s generally okay on the Internet to shit on men and then say, “yeah but I don’t mean you, you’re one of the good ones.” But I’ve learned my whole life that that’s a shitty thing to do.

    I’m not offended, I’m not upset.

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  • [–] -5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    This comic is not shitting on men. It’s shitting on men who have fragile egos.

    I didn’t claim you were upset or offended.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I’m not sure why you keep talking about the comic. I wasn’t responding to the comic. I was responding to someone talking more broadly about generalization of men. The “honestly it bothers me” didn’t refer to the comic.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    The comic is giving context for the conversations here, apologies if I misunderstood. Just wanted to make it clear for the many folk here that have missed that the comic is not generalizing all men.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    It definitely is generalizing all men by the sentence structure, sometimes "men's", which men? Oh just "men" in general.

    But otherwise yeah, 100% "some" men's egos are fragile. Its generalized because it doesn't make a case to isolate a sub-group of men.

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  • [–] 91 points 4 months ago (1 child)
  • [–] 50 points 4 months ago*

    I hate sweeping statements in general. I don't like it when people make general statements about women, men, insert race here. Its dehumanizing. We're all just people.

    The "sometimes" is totally accurate in this comic though.

    I haven't met many people that don't have a fragile ego, honestly. Criticism is hard :/

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  • [–] 51 points 4 months ago

    Everyone who agrees with me proves I'm right. Everyone who disagrees with me proves I'm right.

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  • [–] 36 points 4 months ago (1 child)
    [–] 38 points 4 months ago

    I've never liked these kinds of attitudes, both against men and women. From the "wife bad" boomer mindset to the toxic "all men are pigs" that I hear people say way too often.

    People are people. When it comes to the people I care about, I don't care what you identify as. I don't care what society thinks your "role" should be. You are a person just like I am. I'll treat you the same as I do any other person I care about, because that's what you deserve.

    I'll see you as the individual you are instead of these useless preconceived notions based purely on what bits you have in your pants.

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  • [–] 39 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I can't wait to see all the people from the comic in this comment section.

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  • [–] 12 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    What were the odds that all six men in the last panel would be bald?

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  • [–] 44 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    The patriarchy isn't gonna like this

    We should change toxic masculinity to fragile masculinity cuz thats what it really is

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  • [–] 34 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I've definitely seen similar discussions around race use the term "white fragility" in a very similar way when you try to talk about things like unconscious or systemic racism or privilege.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Move over Fragile X Syndrome, and make room for Fragile Guy Syndrome. Commonly referred to as The Bitching Disease, look out for the especially virulent subtype Angry White Syndrome which has been known to spread even to those without the Y chromosome and is believed to be caused by a lack of rhythm and a bland palatte.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    And people tend to get defensive when you point out their faults.

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  • [–] 19 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Misogyny: people lose their minds

    Misandry: pfff, hahahahaha

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    No, they can be. The problem is as a man as soon as you show any signs of it you're made fun of by women and not desirable. There's a reason guys always say "I'm fine" when asked how they feel, it's because some woman made fun of them an degraded them when they were honest and they learned their lesson.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago

    Works all the times

    Screenshot_20260621_174259_Eternity

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago* (10 children)

    Back in college a roommate’s girlfriend came over and cooked for us out of the blue. It wasn’t great and she scratched my other roommate’s brand new Teflon cookware with metal utensils.

    We politely said it was good and thanked her.

    Half an hour later, roommate #1 was berating us because his girlfriend was in tears because roommate #2 and I were insufficiently effusive in our praise of her cooking.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (9 children)

    What does this have to do with the comic?

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  • [–] 11 points 4 months ago* (3 children)

    Women also have fragile egos and it's a weird unnecessary thing to gender for rage bait

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  • [–] -3 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    And it is also true that some men have fragile egos.

    Those type of men love to “well actually” just like you did here.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    The comic is about fragile egos. So is my story.

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  • [–] -2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    It's about individuals feeling attacked by a private statement not directed at them, ironically making it about them by reacting.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    “Private statement not directed at them” — the characters are in public, making misandrist comments about the people who respond.

    And it’s an obvious allegory for public online posts.

    Yet again, flip the genders. If men make misogynistic comments in public, should they be immune from even the slightest pushback?

    No. Sexism is bad regardless of who is doing the sexism, who they’re saying it to, or who can hear it.

    But the OP is rage bait and a lazy Kafka trap, so I won’t feed the trolls any further. You’re welcome to have the last word.

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  • [–] -1 points 4 months ago*

    Sexism is bad. This isn't sexism. It's not misandrist in any way.

    It's about life, because the character looks around first to make sure they're alone before speaking, because they've learned to anticipate the reactions of men with fragile egos. The character also says "sometimes," which is not a generalization.

    There is nothing wrong with men sharing private conversations about their experiences, but they don't get challenged as often as women do. Thus, the comic.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    Clearly there are environmental factors that lead to this. Nature vs nurture. There are plenty of well adjusted men that don't suck so it's not an inherent trait. I think it's already happening to some degree, but there needs to be more of a societal change in teaching boys about empathy and masculinity. Not promote masculinity, but to understand it better.

    I know when I was young, boys crying was unacceptable. You had to be tough. It's those kinds of lessons that lead to men being not well adjusted adults. As a guy I can obviously relate to this rage bait comic to a degree, but I was fortunately raised in a stable home around good people that taught me empathy.

    I also hate generalities, like "all men", "all women", "every person form , so I find it acceptable whenever any person is wrapped up in one that they can defend themselves. It's these kinds of statements like what this comic is saying, that lead to men isolating themselves or turning to masculine echo chambers for support. It's part of the problem. If people want change, they need to act in a manner that allows it. Don't generalize people, listen, interpret, and then act on that information appropriately. Some people can't be reasoned with in the manosphere, but some can. If you want change for the better, then it takes effort on both sides.

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  • [–] 10 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    The comic doesn’t generalize all men. It literally says sometimes men’s egos can be fragile.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    It's very easy to justify your opinions when, if someone tries to take a counter position, "Oh, I didn't mean that situation so I'm still right".

    The problem with this isn't that they're saying that problems exist... it's that it's so simplistic and overly-broad that it attacks broadly without ever aiming at anyone. You can just say "I wasn't aiming for you" without ever specifying specifically what you did mean that anyone trying to bring context or have an actual discussion about the problem (and thus find a way to make things better) can be seen as just being argumentative and part of that "toxic masculinity".

    Talking about it and trying to find root causes, and maybe a way to fix the issue, is not perpetuating this problem. Whining about it then shutting anyone down who does the former is perpetuating it. All it does is breed divisiveness and tribalism.

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  • [+] -6 points 4 months ago

    I have no patience for men who barge into a women’s conversation with “well actually” - it’s not my job to drop everything and find the root causes for why they’re acting this way or to help them feel validated because they got their ego wounded when two women were existing without acknowledging their presence.

    Men with fragile egos can do the work to become better without women hand-holding them. Better yet, more stable and secure men can step in and help their brothers rein it in.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (8 children)
  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    Why would you give them more evidence to justify their opinion?

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  • [+] -10 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    excuuse me?? did you assume i was male??

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (3 children)
  • [+] -8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    what are you talking about?? i'm non-binary???

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Great timing to run into this after getting several downvotes on a post about women’s orgasms lol

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  • [–] -1 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    The usual suspects in the comments, I’m shocked.

    SHOCKED I tell you.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)
  • [+] -2 points 4 months ago (2 children)