One time I was at a grocery store and they sold out of a particular drink I liked.
A manager was standing nearby and I asked when they would restock it.
"Never." He said. "It always sells out and I don't want to constantly order and restock it, so I'm not going to get more."
Trickle down economics.
Somebody once told me they don't read recreationally because authors are lazy for making readers do all the work of imagining what their story looks like. He was completely sincere, and actually became agitated at the idea of people reading anything beyond manuals or mandatory sorts of things.
This is second hand from a friend, but he said he overheard a conversation between 2 coworkers:
Person A: looks like you got some sun this weekend
Person B (badly sunburned): Yeah, I just bought a convertible and did a lot of driving with the top down. I figured that the wind would stop me from getting sunburned, but I guess it wasn't cold enough
Person A: That's... not how that works
giving rich people more money is important for 'job creation'.
the lie that killed the middle class
I've already told that story but anyway: a relative told me that the GDPR was a conspiracy from Europe to destroy the European internet (why? why not!)
So that guy literally deleted his own web site (full of old stuff, it was a big project) so that... he would not be forced to delete his own web site by the big bad Europe.
He is also anti-vax, and allergic to Wifi and Bluetooth... except when he is in our house filled with Wifi and Bluetooth (but we have never told him, he could die!)
Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you shortly.
"This isn't what I voted for!"
My father told me I shouldn't use regular table salt because "they" were mixing powdered glass in so that it would work its way through your system and embed itself in your heart muscles.
He had called me after I got high though, so I gave him the best kid glove treatment I've ever managed.
Told him that was very interesting. Explained that he could easily prove and expose the conspiracy by pouring salt into a bucket of distilled water. The salt would dissolve, but the glass would sink to the bottom. He could then filter the glass out, then boil the water off to recover the salt safely. He hasn't brought it up since.
My dad is a sweet guy and good at handyman stuff, but dear lord, almost nothing higher level. I truly think it's the lead exposure.
I worked with this dude who i thought was pretty chill. Then one day we're talking about the future of the world and he tells me that he thinks global warming is a punishment from god coz we legalised gay people getting married in Australia. I thought he was joking and took me a few minutes to realise this guy was dead serious
Some old lady was over fir dinner and she asked me why i only eat certain things. I told her that i don't eat meat. It took some time for her to compute and fired back: but you can eat fish. I said, no, because they are animals too. You could see the gears spinning again before she said that banger: i don't think that's true, because they don't even bleed.
A coworker of mine thinks that climate change isn't real and that believing that humans have the capability is pure hubris. And a few months after he told me that, he claimed that windmills were making tornados worse.
I was once stopped by an elderly couple.
One side of the couple was arguing that the sun went out at night.
The other couple was arguing that the moon covered over the sun at night, and that's why we couldn't see the sun.
They asked me to clarify which one of them was correct as an independent third party, and I told them that the earth rotates, and so when you can't see the sun, it's because it's on the other side of the planet.
They both paused for a moment, looked at each other, and then looked at me and said, "oh, yeah", and that was the end of the argument.
top 85 comments