I’ve had it both ways, and I was never happier than when I was living in Brooklyn, with access to excellent public transit and lots of walking-distance community support.

And, believe it, or not, my cost of living was half the price to living in Orlando, with a car. Also, I made more when living in Brooklyn. also, Orlando sucks.

I live in one of my state's few walkable neighborhoods adjacent to a downtown core, when I try to explain to others in the area what it's like, well, they've never had any reason to use sidewalks besides the yearly trick-or-treat around the cul-de-sac. Vaguely know their neighbors as they wave in passing.

For me the best part was getting a job downtown, by a park, so I can exist almost feeling like a much larger city proper. Main library, tons of restaurants, shops. Historic homes. Neighbors who care for each other and feel like extended family. This is what 'urban' can and should feel like - community.

Or are so unfit that walking places sounds like an insurmountable challenge.

Yeah, this feels more like "people haven't experienced being in a walkable community with good transit". My buddy is having to move back to the States after a year in Germany, and he's so upset that he and his wife are gonna have to get a car again and not just walk/bike everywhere.

I've had it both ways, and there's nothing that compares to having your own house and land with privacy away from noisy neighbors.

When I lived in a city there were more things to do, and I could bike to work, but the crowding feels like a social prison. Also I saw some people get shot, and thieves stole things from my porch repeatedly.

It’s even the basic things, like sidewalks. If you never use a sidewalk, why waste money on them? I have neighbors who never clear their snow because “no one uses the sidewalks) (despite all the footprints from people who do). There are too many places without sidewalks and no one cares.

Then of course, the effing cars. In the last few years of more frequent walking places

• I’ve almost gotten hit by someone cutting a corner across the sidewalk
• I’ve almost gotten hit many times bu cars ignoring the crossing signal
• I’ve almost gotten hit many times by cars pulling up fast to a red light and into the crosswalk
• I’ve almost gotten hit many times by cars taking “right on red” without stopping (legally require) or looking around the corner
• almost every time I walk somewhere is inconvenienced by someone parking on the sidewalk

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, I believe walking is such an alien concept that they’re just not aware of issues like these

plenty of American vloggers on YT saying exactly that. Most people are bereft of imagination or prescience.

They want to live a socially miserable life.

Like capitalism, they’re told that it is the best and only option. 

"best we can do is a small house 1 bedroom apartment shared with 6 other people in a car-based community"

Don't forget to tip your landlord

Yes, there are garden apartments near shopping plazas but in order to access a grocery store, one needs to play Frogger across a 5 lane highway or 6 lane intersection. A lot of people get hit whether on bikes or on foot. You don't want to trust your life to some Zoomer or Boomer looking at their cell phone while careening down the road in their SUV or Pick-up.

Most Americans drive to their corner stores, I was so disappointed in my roommates once when I went to the (<5 minute walk) store and they decided to go too and passed me in the car halfway there.

Friend of mine got divorced and had to move out of her family home. She ended up in a nice apartment in a huge building, but with giant strides on all sides. It’s an island of inaccessibility

the type of people who actually answer their phones and don't hang up when the surveyor starts asking questions.

Yeah I could never willingly live in an apartment for many reasons, but a few of them being:

no common outdoor area for pets, so if your dog needs to pee you have to take them for a walk around the block to pee on some tiny patch of grass beside the street.

As you mentioned no garage/driveway to work on a vehicle or even have any other space intensive hobby/activity like woodworking.

Privacy, I just hate having neighbours and noises at all times of the day.

Gardening for more than a couple pots of tomatoes and herbs on a balcony.

And many more

Here they just loosened restrictions, so wood framed buildings can be built to six stories …. Now you’ll be able to hear all 500 of your neighbors stomping around, but at least it will be cheaper to build, right?

Note: a lot of the initial resistance was fire safety in large buildings. Sure enough the first six story wood framed apartment block in my town burned to the ground. I know that’s just one example and I don’t know enough to have an opinion on that, but makes you think

I would rather live in a big house/apartement in walkable area than a big house/apartment in a car dependant area. But thats not the question they asked.

Another alternative is a row house. It's bigger than an apartment, you actually own it with no HOA bullshit, you park on the street (though I have to pay the vast sum of about $30 a year for the privilege). And you can live in or near the city center, where you can find every kind of pub, restaurant or shop and where you can get trains or buses anytime.

Commieblock

We know from sale prices that people actually covet walkable areas, so much so that the accusation of "rich elitist" gets tossed at proponents of walkable cities.

We can also tell by the existence of zoning laws. If the demand for larger lots were really that high, the market would develop like that on its own without needing minimum lot size laws to force it.

These could be factors but I do think this is probably accurate overall. Walkable areas are expensive primarily because they're in such short supply. It doesn't take a majority to make it expensive, just a slice of the population larger than the people who can actually fit in such places. And since we've made dense urban development illegal in like 99% of the country, naturally any amount of people wanting to live in such places is too much.

Ultimately I think this is a problem created by large, majoritarian government. The suburban majority decides urban design and the rest have little to no power to object.

Seriously, I just don't want to be bothered by people or live in an apartment where I get to hear my neighbors or constantly encounter them.

Yeah sorry, neighbors are usually assholes who stick their noses in other peoples business. I'll live as far from other people as I can.

If I could choose my friends as neighbors it'd be different.

Yeah it's unclear how much fantasy was allowed with these questions. Like if commute and money and pollution were no object I'd prefer to live on 1000 acres in the mountains with a cabin-mansion and hobby farm.

But realistically for cost and commute I just want a big yard for gardening, and peace and quiet.

My agoraphobia comes from a lifetime of being bullied by people so I don’t like people. I like my small house and small suburban backyard that I grow vegetables and have chickens in.

with a little AFFLUENZA mixed into it.

Why does it have to be 1 or the other in a city? You can absolutely have both in mixed development, add in shops for basic needs as well. Is it going to be as big a a suburban place? No, but you can have a small garden and a garage.

It's really weird and unnerving seeing American cities and suburbs. They are so badly planned/zoned for actual living, when compared to European countries

For me the yard is what I really want. Being able to grow fruits and veggies and attract birds and pollinators is my jam. I think my family could live quite happily with basically a bedroom attached to a big kitchen. But I don’t think I could forfeit the yard.

Doesn't work if the small town is one gigantic stroad of abandoned or soon to fail local shops, that cuts the town in half. And the only flanking businesses are corporate mega chains that asphyxiate the local economy. Which are like 90% of small towns™ in the USA.