My wife has a milk allergy. Depending on the ingredient, it can go pretty bad. If they put regular cream in something, she might need to use her EpiPen.

There's no grumbling or clarification that works. The server will almost always write down no milk, no cheese. Half the time, the kitchen will forget, mix up, or ignore it; sometimes, the server grabs the wrong thing from the warmer.

Assuming you are willing/qualified to be a spokesperson for vegans:

When you encounter a menu item marked "Vegan" and discover that it isn't, do you often speak to the manager to advise them to either remove the label or change the recipe?

I'm not vegan, but I often (not OFTEN but more frequently that my wife would prefer!) mention menu mistakes to the server/cashier in the hopes of helping a future guest.

He's either trying to help and overdoing it to embarrass her (a responsibility of us dads) or he's overdoing it to support her publicly and loudly (which is good but annoying).

Of course vegans will tell you, it’s a dietary restriction.

If you’re even halfway intimate with someone, you’ll likely share a meal or cook for them.

I’m not even vegan, but this particular phrase annoys me hahaha.

how do you know someone’s vegan? they’ll tell you

That statement reads to me the same as “how do you know someone has food allergies? They’ll tell you.”

EDIT: Just to be clear, I know that allergies are different than boycotts. If the girl could get anaphylactic shock from a drop of milk, the dad would be justified in reacting that way. However, in both cases, it makes sense to inform people that you can’t/won’t eat something.

Yes that seemed to be a big thing cca 10 years ago

I think it’s a lot like any group, religion is a good example. I don’t mind that my best friend is religious. I’ll even wait to start eating and bow my head so he can say a prayer. Because I love and respect him but also it’s just the decent human thing to do. I don’t push my atheism on him and he doesn’t push his religion on me. There are religious people and atheists that I can’t stand. There’s vegans and non vegans I can’t stand. In general I try to remind myself that it’s usually the annoying minority I can’t stand I remember the most and isn’t reflective of the group as a whole. With most things generally.

2010s, OMG they were everywhere. It was just a thing. Veganism became super trendy and people hopped on the bandwagon. Now that it's not cool anymore, most of them have hopped onto another bandwagon or have aged out of chasing trends altogether. But they're always out there. Right now, I hear a lot about K-Pop, Formula 1, and... third places. That last one catches me off guard because I have a related degree and when I was in school the concept was relatively obscure, so it catches me off guard, but in a good way (I work in a museum which charges for entry).

Anyway, eventually enough pretentious attention-seekers hop on the bandwagon and annoy enough people that they become the subject of ridicule. They move to the next thing, and the OGs get to be the butt of the joke for a generation. It blows.

A lot of the vegan haters are uncomfortable with the moral issues with meat consumption and rather than seriously work through their feelings and try to figure out where they stand they just mock those who make them uncomfortable and conflate them to the most annoying of the group.

Very similar to people who haven't worked out their religious trauma hating on even decent religious folks

Every dragon roll I have ever had has had lobster and at least one other fish in it. No cheese 🤮

In my experience it's eel that's the 'dragon'. Although one place around here has fucking chicken in it.

My take is that he's being well-meaning but overbearing, based on the "it's really important to her" comment.