All I hear is that the pizza index works, he is too fucking dumb to do anything about it, and is clearly rattled about it. If he was serious he would have kept his mouth shut, which he can't, and it's all bullshit.

Someone tell him about th gay bar index so he starts going there randomly too

That's why he invited that reporter to his illegal Signal chat, just to throw everyone off

We look at every indicator.

After it's become widespread international news meaning our allies and enemies have known for at least a decade...

"Thought about" and "might just" are two phrases middle aged white guys use when we want to talk big and then never follow through. I'd be shocked if he puts in one "fake" order, and highly doubt he'll be able to be consistent enough to throw off the tracker.

Okay, fuck, he got me, that's really funny. Good job. Now please submit to The Hague, confess everything, and spend the rest of your life in prison.

“No raises this year, gentlemen. And ladies. But hey, PIZZA PARTY!!”

Your tax dollars at work.

You know he doesn’t tip, so they’re not delivering twice.

And what is he going to do with all of those "diversion" pizzas?

Seems like that could be a good way to feed the hungry in DC: order a large and semirandom number of pizzas to the Pentagon every night, then distribute them to homeless shelters; on nights when you're planning or executing ops, just add to the order enough for your operation and pull them off of the pile before you redirect the rest to the shelters.

But the party of "lol your poor git gud" wouldn't dream of such a thing. More likely they'll toss them in the dumpster.

The real order will look like the Pentagon is throwing a kegger

A real military mobilization is about as easy to conceal as a sunrise. And you're not going to fool anyone by ordering a few extra pizzas.

Pretty sure he said this exact thing last year when the Pizza Index was correct. Is this a cute little gem he just has on standby?

You're joking about your own ineptitudes? Bold strategy

Give us your credit card number Pete and we'll help you order those pizzas.

He thought of ordering lots of pizza? What a genius mastermind.

Aren't all the pedos using "pizza" as covert code for child pornography ?

Hello? Is this Dominos?

I'm always surprised the pizza index works. There are over 20 restaurants inside the Pentagon, including a pizza place. It should be easy to make everyone order from those when something is happening

Well at least our troops will be fat asses just like he wants them.