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[–] 32 points 11 months ago* (6 children)

I don't know about "ever", but someone recently told me bald eagles are the fastest flyers on Earth; even faster than any military jet.

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  • [–] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Their baldness makes them extra aerodynamic.

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  • [–] 30 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    A lot of things from a particular family member

    This month: His buddy who's a "mechanic" touched our car and did a bunch of "extra work" on it for a "great price". Got it back and it sounded like they emptied the transmission fluid in the CVT. I got "it must be the drive shaft" and "don't go down rabbit holes on the internet"

    It was missing transmission fluid

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  • [–] 29 points 11 months ago (4 children)

    An old professor once taught the class that the prostate was a myth.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Was it a woman? Maybe it was a joke like how people say the clitoris is a myth.

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  • [–] 27 points 11 months ago

    Foreigners are to blame for everything and kicking them out of your country is key to solving everything.

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  • [–] 20 points 11 months ago (4 children)

    "Lions are the boys and tigers are the girls."

    "People used to live to be 900 years old."

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  • [–] 6 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    β€œPeople used to live to be 900 years old.”

    They also used to be able to fly, according to my dad, who was not happy with me when I laughed it off because I thought he was joking.

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  • [–] 20 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    Idk if it’s nonsense but when Ozzy died a coworkers told me that Ozzy was an American war hero who fought in the first gulf war and help liberate the people of Iraq, and then showed me a very bad AI photo of Ozzy sitting in a tank and flying a fighter jet.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    I'm pretty sure you didn't mean it this way, but was he sitting in a tank that was itself flying in the jet? Because that would be even more awesome.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago

    No it was 2 separate photos of Ozzy in a tank and in a jet, I’ve tried to find it but it was on facebook and I don’t have facebook anymore and I don’t wanna give zuck my info just to look up AI photos.

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    [–] 16 points 11 months ago (7 children)

    β€œThink about it. They drained a lot of oil in the Middle East, so there must be cool underground lakes of oil you can paddle around in down there.” -Gas station geologist

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  • [–] 10 points 11 months ago (5 children)

    I understand that oil isn't just sitting around in big empty voids in the rock, and that those voids are full of gravel and such, and that we're also injecting water and such into the wells to maintain pressure, etc.

    But I'd be willing to bet (a small amount, maybe like $50 tops) that out of the thousands of oil wells we've drilled over the years, that through some quirk of geology, some void has opened up somewhere down there with just enough liquid oil and open space that you could probably get a kayak on it and paddle around in a small circle.

    I'm thinking probably more like the size of a smallish above ground swimming pool, not a decent sized lake that would actually be worth paddling around on.

    Of course there's also the issue of the pressure at that depth, and the fact that any atmosphere down there is probably gonna be natural gas and not breathable air, so you'd probably have to do it in a hard diving suit

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (4 children)

    I'm with you in thinking that this is not impossible. I think geology is something that can do funny things in some places.

    By the way, in some places oil seems to be pretty close to the surface. If you visit the La Brea tar pits in Los Angeles sometime, there's essentially an open lake of oil (tar) that you can visit, and as you walk the grounds around it you'll see some spots where the tar is seeping out from the ground and you have to watch out not to step on it.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    In the olden days oil reserves were discovered because oil was straight up seeping out of the ground.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    I've heard that too! I also remember cartoons where a character would hit the ground with a pick axe and oil would come gushing out.

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  • [–] 41 points 11 months ago (16 children)

    If you tickle a baby's feet before they are one year old they will stutter. Told to me by my son's girlfriend when I was holding my grandson for the first time. It wasn't a fun fact, it was a rule that I was to obey. So for the record, he should be stuttering by now because I couldn't resist, and they couldn't watch me all the time. :)

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  • [–] 12 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    This sounds like one of the many hispanic old wives tales I have heard through my wife's family. Tickling was one of them,

    Babies aren't supposed to see their reflection because it will make them vain

    Put a red bracelet on the baby to repel evil spirits

    Don't let strangers touch the baby because it will transfer jealousy to the baby

    There's so many more, and WAY more not baby based myths that I have learned that could fill this thread.

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago (13 children)

    Makes me want to ask what other kooky wrongness they hold in their head, either in childrearing beliefs or general day to day knowledge.

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  • [–] 8 points 11 months ago (11 children)

    I really don't want to push things too far with them, but so far I haven't really been able to hold my grandkids except for very brief periods and even then there are rules. No kissing them on the hands or face, the aforementioned no tickling their feet. They don't really seem to be up to letting me watch the grandkids at any point, even though I raised my son and his siblings just fine.

    The discipline seems to be completely missing, and I had a talk with my son and he attributed it to wanting to stop generational trauma. What the fuck does that even mean? I took it as though he is trying to say he had a bad childhood. But I had a great childhood, and I would say he did too as far as things like not having any abuse in the house, etc. So how far back does one need to go to round up some trauma. Maybe they are talking about his gf's family? I guess I will have to sit down with him again and see what exactly he means by that.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (10 children)

    It doesn't surprise me that you're getting limited access to your grandkids if you are not respecting their boundaries, that is, their rules. That they are kooky is beside the point.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago (9 children)

    I only tickled one grandkids feet for about a second and no one was looking. Other than that I have been very respectful of their batshit decisions (my personal opinion). But thanks for chiming in.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    OK, sorry, I misread "I couldn't resist, and they couldn't watch me all the time" as meaning you were tickling their feet in front of them and they couldn't bear to watch.

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago

    Damn english. Yeah I can see how that was a way to read it. I meant that they stepped out of the room one time, and I tickled the little guys feet. Who wouldn't want to tickle a baby's cute little feet. They never saw me, and I never told them I did it. Now if I was an asshole, I would be telling them what I did, now that he is older and doesn't stutter, trying to use it to prove them wrong. But I would never bring it up, and only brought it up here because I can remain mostly anonymous so they will never find out.

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  • [–] -1 points 11 months ago (6 children)

    Oh yes, I hear how much respect you have for them in your posts.

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago (5 children)

    The thread is about the most nonsense thing you have ever been told. I am glad you are so aware of the rest of our relationship. They are entitled to make rules for their kids, but doesn't mean I don't respect them in other ways, and doesn't mean I have to think they aren't nonsense. Anything else you want to enlighten me about mr freud?

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago (4 children)

    I am glad you are so aware of the rest of our relationship

    I only know what you've told us: You specifically ignored the rules they asked you to follow when watching their children, they don't let watch their children (these two points might be related), and you claim to be "respectful of their batshit decisions".

    If some randos on the internet can hear your disdain this loudly...

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    You specifically ignored the rules they asked you to follow when watching their children

    One single time I tickled my grandson's feet. Other than that all of the other rules they have placed I have been respectful of whether I agree or disagree and I am allowed to think of their rules however I want. Not sure where you are getting that I am just blatantly ignoring them.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Not sure where you are getting that I am just blatantly ignoring them.

    This line right here:

    he should be stuttering by now because I couldn’t resist, and they couldn’t watch me all the time. :)

    Really sounds like you're bragging about breaking their rules. Are the absurd? Absolutely. What would have been the harm of following this rule? nothing. What was gained by breaking it? A small amount of dopamine for you personally.

    You broke it because you could for no benefit whatsoever and are smugly bragging about it. Do you think you sound like the good guy in your story?

    If you're not going to follow a simple harmless rules, why would they trust you to follow the important ones? It reminds me of the story of the grandmother that didn't believe the mother when she said her child was allergic to coconut oil and though it was "nonsense": https://rareddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7qmed5/you_can_come_over_again_when_you_bring_me_my (Spoiler, this doesn't end well for anybody)

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    I tickled his feet one time when they were out of the room and they have no idea it happened. Maybe I wrote that the wrong way, but I have never gone against their wishes otherwise, and I damn sure wouldn't do it right in front of them. You are blowing this way out of proportion. I only gave out information pertinent to the topic of the thread, and since I don't know you, and you don't know me, I really don't understand your point here. What are you trying to accomplish by judging me with a single paragraph of my story? Would you like me to add in the part where, when my kids were young their mom walked out on all of us and left us standing in a driveway as she drove off. I had three young kids that I had to take inside, feed, get them ready for bed, then get them up the next morning and get them to school and daycare, then get myself to work. You are trying to portray me as some gigantic asshole who doesn't respect my kids. I love my kids and grandkids, and no matter what you say or read off your Jump To Conclusions Mat(tm) will change that. I have always been there for them, end of story. This has been interesting, but I am done here.

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago

    What are you trying to accomplish

    Honestly you remind me of my mother. She tells the stories that I wish someone that doesn't have to worry about offending her would ask "do you think you come off sounding good in that story you just told?"
    I don't have children but my brother does, and she isn't allowed to see them at all, likely due to not respecting their rules about how they are raising their children.

    But maybe you're right, I shouldn't judge the way you treat your children the same way you judge the way they treat their children.

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  • [–] 14 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Anarchy capitalism is the solution to every nations problems.

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  • [+] 14 points 11 months ago* (3 children)
  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago

    Honestly, she might have the same thing I do. I don't know if it's got a name or anything, but absolutely all red wine tastes like balsamic vinegar to me, almost indistinguishably so, even when I'm sharing it with someone who's talking about how this one is "fruity" or whatever.

    I went through a short phase of thinking I was being pranked. So I'm with your sister on this one, minus the sangria bit lol.

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  • [–] 25 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

    That there was some guy who heard a voice and then financed and built a 150 meter boat by himself, got a breeding pair of every single land species on Earth onto said boat, and kept them from starving, killing each other, or otherwise becoming unable to reproduce until after the entire surface area of the planet was no longer covered in water.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    And then there was this dude that was swallowed by a whale and he just chilled in the stomach and lit a little bit of a fire and roasted some marshmallows and then he was puked up or something later.

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  • [–] 11 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    β€œThere are more connections in the human brain than there are atoms in the universe”

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  • [–] 20 points 11 months ago (7 children)

    My stepdad once made coleslaw that smelled like burnt rubber. Me and my siblings told him that we would not eat the coleslaw, it would taste like burnt rubber. And he tried to convince us that since we had never eaten burnt rubber before in the past, that we couldn't possibly know what burnt rubber tastes like, and therefore we should eat the coleslaw.

    It turned into an hours-long argument about how you don't have to actually eat burnt rubber in order to know what burnt rubber smells like, and that there's no good reason for coleslaw to smell like burnt rubber.

    In the end, me and my siblings won, and we did not eat the coleslaw, but I don't understand how you can cook coleslaw... no, wait, you don't even cook coleslaw!

    I don't know how you can prepare coleslaw so poorly as to have it smell like burnt rubber, and I don't know how you can be so married to your burnt rubber coleslaw that you would attempt to force children to eat it, regardless of the fact that it smells like burnt fucking rubber.

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  • [–] 10 points 11 months ago* (1 child)

    Perception researcher here. So you probably are aware that if you have a stuffy nose, your food taste different.

    Well. Technically what you experience when eating is a combination of smell and taste sensations.

    Molecules from food in your mouth travel up your throat into nasal cavities. And of course. Can come in through the nose.

    This combination perception is called "flavor". That's the technical term. Although this word often means "taste" in layman.

    Anyway. My point is. That smell heavily influences flavor.

    Which is what a lot of people think of as "taste" but taste is exclusively tongue receptors.

    So your argument is sound. The experience of the smell is a strong indicator of the flavor.

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  • [–] 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    I've never considered cooking coleslaw . . . the things I've been missing in my life.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Cooked cabbage can smell quite strange. And bad. Only way I think cabbage is good cooked is briefly stir fried with bacon. That's it.

    Anything else or longer and it starts to smell super bad.

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  • [–] 10 points 11 months ago

    5G causes Corona virus is a favourite. Most of the biblical claims but those are too obvious. Excluding religion and conspiracy theories, expensive speaker cables produce sound quality that is superior to cheap cables. Turning a phone off in an aircraft improves safety. My daughter's teacher confidently informed me that bicycles are more dangerous than cars. That was probably the most depressing and stupid.

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  • [–] 10 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    When I was 6 by my older brother "The currents in currant buns are flies". Didn't believe him until I took a bite and felt the texture of the currant. Couldn't eat them again until I was a teenager.

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    @zachimusprime44@lemmy.world invisible bird people can intervene in your life if you ask to speak to their supervisor

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago* (1 child)

    Essentially that (they just assumed was a fact) all other countries worldwide follow the American calendar, years, language, everything.

    Specifically they were arguing China was in the same exact "year" as the United States.


    Or maybe people I watched "speak in tongues." Complete morons.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago

    As it happens, China does have dual dating since 1912 (with some fluctuation), using the Gregorian calendar for most things except traditional holidays, which are celebrated according to the Chinese calendar.

    The Gregorian calendar is generally one of the safer things to bet on, in this day. What could be that person's thinking with the languages, however, that I don't know.

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    The small little nub at the end of a peanut is tastier than the peanut itself. I believed it and kept eating it while giving the rest to them. I got scammed.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago

    Yeah not only are they not the tastiest, they're the most disgusting. I eat a f****** ton of peanuts, and the bottom of the jar is always filled with the little nubs. Of course I eat them, but nothing gives you a sense of how horrible they taste than getting an entire mouthful at once.

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  • [–] 14 points 11 months ago

    Being forced to vote for someone that doesn't represent you is democracy.

    Im not sure why the blue conservatives are so worried about a one party government. Just work within the republican primary system and earn your incremental change!

    What's wrong, you dont trust how republicans run their primaries?

    Electoral Reform Videos

    First Past The Post voting (What most states use now)

    Videos on alternative electoral systems

    STAR voting

    Alternative vote

    Ranked Choice voting

    Range Voting

    Single Transferable Vote

    Mixed Member Proportional representation

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  • [–] 7 points 11 months ago

    People only started getting cancer since we started eating grain. Because of bread, so many people have cancer now.

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  • [–] 13 points 11 months ago

    The universe was created and is controlled by a super being and when we die this being allows us to a magical place. I know it sounds utterly ridiculous, but you asked the question.

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  • [–] 6 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Trump got elected president of the United States.

    Twice.

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  • [–] 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

    I was experiencing auditory hallucinations when trying to sleep, tried to tell my mom about it. She told me the house was haunted and I was hearing the ghosts.

    My father built that house when I was a baby.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    "Yes, I'm sure I typed my password correctly."

    Working in IT, I can't tell you how many times I've heard that and how many times it's been wrong.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    C++ is the next version of C+

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago

    That technology is progress.

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