Probably the first time I have seen someone else start a conversation about it, instead of me doing and people feeling comfortable enough to join in with their two cents.

My dad would occasionally tell us stories from his childhood. Stuff like his dad grabbing him by the shirt collar and repeatedly punching him in the face. When I was a kid it was just another story. When I got old enough to actually understand what he was talking about it was like, "God damn. No wonder you're like this."

I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It didn't undo anything he did but it did help me hate him less.

I think I'm really fortunate that my dad somehow realized he completely fucked up and made an effort to repair his relationship with his kids. We're on good terms now and he's a way better Grandpa than he was a father. I know a lot of people go through their whole lives only getting to see the worst side of their parents. My dad included.

You are not alone. Your parents do not define your value. Despite their best or worst efforts, they do not ultimately get to decide what kind of person you will be.

Ah, the constant, unpredictable flipping between affection and cruelty. Sure made for a lovely childhood! Definitely didn't contribute to a lifelong fear of social interaction, and the resulting isolation.

My mother has never properly apologized to me for anything in her life. She says she's not the perfect mother but if you ask her about details of what she feels she did wrong, she will get angry. I honestly don't talk to her anymore. Homophobic, racist, islamaphobic, etc. I don't need to put up with that and no one else should be forced to either.

"Stop that, you could get hurt!"

"Ugh, just be on my side for once!"

It was my father, but it's the same story. He never understood why i never wanted to see him after my parents divorced, and i did not come to his funeral. He was much nicer to my little sister tho, she did not see what me and my brother had to endure years before, and so she is still angry years later that i skipped the funeral.

Abusive parents the second you defend yourself effectively: "I didn't know you had teeth, sorry for biting you."

Damn, a whole lotta folks with not the greatest childhoods.

I think I may have been luckier than I realized.

That was the case. She lost my trust since I was very young. But fortunately I have a great father, who is intelligent and caring. I often feel sorry for him to have to live with my mother. On the bright side, their relationship seems get better in the resent years. Maybe time did heal.

You're not alone.

Because when you see a wooden spoon, it's just a wooden spoon. When I see a wooden spoon, I see a weapon.

My parents were physical with me early in life until they felt they could talk it out. My family always put restrictions on things and I didn’t really have input into things while I was there, my adult relationship was largely listening to them complain about their health, dodge political conversations and really never got to input anything into a conversation. If I did mention something they treated it as an ask for guidance and not just something to talk about. My parents never knew the real me that they developed. Thankfully I diverged after I left home as their politics are ghastly

"I did my best"

You never even TRIED taking responsibility for anything, maybe divert some of that effort there instead.

I still haven’t decided when or if I’ll ever tell my mom about the ptsd she gave us. At this point, with the ways she’s changed over the years, I’m not confident she’ll listen or believe me.

Who's got a good story?

Bad parents pointing at "screaming at your child regularly":

Is this being strict?

Ahhh, yes. The Hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

My aunt regularly interrogated me about my decision-making, schedule and personal relationships

Without realizing it, I fell into a habit of explaining myself to her. I lost a lot of autonomy. She strictly enforced the practice of getting her approval before doing anything.

I learned to hide things and sneak around her. It made her furious.

She learned to manipulate, lie and bully me into giving her what she wanted.

She was being selfish and intrusive and neither of us realized it. She considers herself to be a protector and provider, and cannot admit that sometimes she's an abuser.

These days I don't trust her with information or control. She calls me (and the other members of her immediate family) a "privacy hoarder".

I'm very hurt, and I don't plan on ever feeling better about it

Totally cant relate. I was home schooled by my mother who had also been a teacher for a few years before starting to have kids with my father. She is kind, gentle, beautiful and still a continuing inspiration in my life.

That is to say, no.... I cant personally relate.

More context needed. Sometimes my kids are savages, so yelling does occur on occasion. They're usually pretty great, though.

Edit: yikes, people took my comment way too seriously. I don't literally think my kids are savages, jfc. No shit, you shouldn't yell at your kids. I typically don't. But, I am not perfect, and neither is literally every single parent. We're humans and there are days where we have shorter breaking points and our feelings get the best of us, especially when your kids are being super energetic, chaotic, and not listening to anyone. The important thing isn't NOT yelling 100% of the time, it's apologizing and explaining what happened to them afterwards when it does get the better of you.

Being a parent is maddening. You think you'd do better with your own children until you experience the 24/7/365 stress that children inherently bring upon their parents. Few people escape childhood undamaged. Life has never been easy or perfect for anyone.