“No matter who you are, you can’t just go around throwing stuff at people because you’re mad,” Assistant U.S. Attorney John Parron told jurors

Does that include tear gas canisters?

Makes you wonder how the pig feels about being the victim of a felony cold cutting.

I thought they had reduced it to misdemeanor because the Grand Jury would not indict on a felony charge because it was too ridiculous?

To quote another thread:

Assault with a deli weapon.

Your honor my client was mearly passing the sandwich to the pig with passion! They normally like being fed!

Clearly the federal agent should have moved out the way. Onus is on them.

"Felony assault"? Is that a new addition to the subway menu?

Maybe it only happened in the movies but I thought there was a time in this country when it was common to throw rotten tomatoes at politicians and I've long wished for it to return.

That's the problem with these bastards. They can spend their whole life going places where no common person can say anything they might hear. But get smacked in the face with some rotten produce and you know what they think of you and your bullshit.

The ham on rye equals tear gas I suppose. MAGA today.

As American as baseball.

CBP Agent Gregory Lairmore, the government’s first witness, said the sandwich “exploded” when it struck his chest hard enough that he could feel it through his ballistic vest.

“You could smell the onions and the mustard,” he recalled.

First off, yes this was assault. Hilarious assault, but assault. But I'd be too humiliated to testify as the "victim" is quoted. Of course he felt it. He's also feel it if I lightly pushed him with my pinky finger.

If it was felony assault, one of the THREE grand juries would have voted to charge the felony

felony assault

*Bologna!