She's built like a steakhouse but handles like a bistro

We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

If we can hit that bulls-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

You win again, gravity!

• When I'm in command, every mission is a suicide mission.
• [introducing himself] I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan at your service.
• Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast.

Stop exploding, you cowards!

I hate these filthy Neutrals, Kif. With enemies, you know where they stand but with Neutrals, who knows? It sickens me.

Lower....

Lower...

Lower...

Too low!!

Lower...

Kiff, inform the men! I've made it with a woman.

"if we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards... CHECKMATE"

"You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down. Kif, show them the medal I won."

And also:

"In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces."

She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!

I’m surprised these haven’t been mentioned yet:

The secret of winning war is the element of surprise… surprise!

I have a sexy learning disability, what do I call it kiff? Sexlexia

We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars? [pause] Kif, I'm asking you a question.

That's for schoolgirls. Now here's a course with some chest hair.

[Draws a meandering line on the chart]

What makes a man turn neutral? Gold? A lust for power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?

Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors.

Spare me your space age techno babble Attila the Hun

Oh, yeah. Bathtub minestrone.

-You want the rest of the champaggin?
-It's pronounced "sham-pane".
-Oh, God, no!

Zapp Brannigan: Bender here's identified the femdido commander as my ex-lover Turanga Leela, whom I once made love at

If We Hit That Bullseye, The Rest Of The Dominos Will Fall Like A House Of Cards. Checkmate.

"You disgust me! Go on."

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take of your pants and dance around a little?

Does the company that made your bra make a girdle as well?

Too low!

I suffer from a very sexy learning disability.

The spirit is willing but the flesh...is spongy...and bruised.

Oh god, you’re killing me. OH GOD YOU’RE KILLING ME

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised.

Helium miner: Mine collapse!

Zapp: Mine collapse too... Collapses water cup

Hold, girdle... Hooold...

Let me show you why they call me The Velour Fog. Hit it.

I’ve never heard of such a shocking and brutal injustice I cared so little about!

Really any of his lines from War is The H Word or Amazon Women in the Mood.

Too low! ...Lower...

Champaggen

Just a broken down hobo whose hit rock bottom and his commanding officer

Wingus! Dingus!

Idk why it's just the oblivious sincerity that kills me

Now as a solemn testicle to those left behind on earth, I present this monument.

"Won't you come with me to Chocolate City?"

That's not Kif, it's Roger from American Dad.

my favorite zapp line exists only in my head where he gets shot. he doesn't even say anything, that's just it.