y'all motherfuckers need Bash

Jokes on you, my Oma worked in Dos until her retirement.

She was an absolute master at it.

As someone living in more rural demographic, replace grandma with every person with a cpu driven device. To quote my dad regarding his cellular trailcams "Wtf is updatefirmware? Stop making up words."

That's because the default color scheme is white on black. Just change it and Poof! Blue magic, red magic, yellow magic... so many possibilities!

It same when i was called by friend who worked at police HQ, updating linux with showing terminal at full screen because i want to know if udate successful or not while i reinstal windows at some computer in that room.
all police that station almost killed me because they tough i hacked police database just because they saw terminal with some progress bar installing linux update.

Batch is a very cursed shell/scripting language though

Just wait until she hears about the Linux shell.

Wait until you type top

One of my favorite comparisons is computing to magic. They say that sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

A lot of people have a hard time drawing that comparison, but if you tell them that there are very special, rare silica rocks that you can only find in specific places on earth, and that if you inscribe one of these rocks with billions of tiny transistors runes and then power infuse the rock with electricity lightning you can actually make trick the rock into a processor thinking, and that this now let's you create software incantations which explain to the processor thinking rock how to execute a program do specific things for you, then they begin to see why.

"I'm gonna pop out and get some lunch because this is going to take a while and definitely isn't just an SSH into an Ubuntu box running apt update/upgrade in a loop."