Tinfoil, copper wire, 9V battery and a bottle of HP sauce.

10 sherbet dib-dabs, a croissant, a lighter, and a straw.

The person in front of me at Boots had a basket with Alka Seltzer and pregnancy test. Not confusing but told a story.

A "crossword puzzle" book, a tin opener and a pack of condoms.

Deep heat, condoms, superglue, brillo pads, and a tube of pringles.

I don't know, man. Is the cashier paid enough to give a damn?

Having worked in retail for 15 years, I certainly wouldn't care. You're just keeping an eye on how long until your shift ends 😅

(It's still fun reading the suggestions though.)

A few jars of hot sauce, jerk seasoning and a korma because you look them in the eye and say you can't stand spicy things.

5 x 1kg bags of rice.

Go back and buy another 5 x 1kg bags of rice.

Do it again.

And finally, with the last of your money, buy 4 more.

Its a large enough object and repetitive enough that they will actually notice and remember it. Splitting it into multiple transactions makes it seem more unusual.

Aldi sell 1kg bags of plain white rice for 52p each, so you can buy 19 bags and have 12p left over.

That much rice is almost 70 million calories - 70k kcal