You will find love in a small, hidden away black site in Liberia. Your eyes will meet across the water-boarding room and it will be love at first sight.

Then your love will betray you because they were actually an undercover Russian spy and you fell for it! They pumped you for secrets for years! You’ll then find your self on the run from hit squads in Bucharest but you’ll escape because of your training and dedication to regime change in the search for oil.

Finally, on your deathbed, surrounded by children and grandchildren, you’ll notice that the hospice nurse is your old flame, the Russian spy. She injects your IV with cyanide and you die painfully because you let your guard down AGAIN!

Drink plenty of water. Have a balanced diet. Have a regular sleep schedule. Stretch every day, ideally by doing yoga. Exercise regularly. Practice mindful meditation. Learn to cook. Learn to sew. Read books. Develop skills.

Knowledge is power; be dangerous.

Do a barrel roll

Sometime tomorrow, you're going to take a shit. If you are lucky, ot won't be in your pants.

Be gay, do crime

Thou shalt read.

It's crab sorry

Uh let's see...it says here...uh, cantaloupe? Good luck deciphering that one I guess, buddy

Diahrrea, and a lot of it. Don't eat at that restaurant this weekend

Batin

Destiny tell us about this recurring story that must unfold.Every living being is fated to experience it, so behold!Any day now, we'll feel a sudden touch so cold and bold: The invisible hands will take no silver and no gold.Her timeless deal means only our soul can be sold:"Fate who hath me so bitterly near,Thou stareth me till my uttermost fear,Won't thou spareth me over another year?"(We must never forget our ultimate, shared destiny. Vita Mori oportet. Memento Mori.)!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

If we told you; then you would fail to do the work required to achieve it but it will make you extremely happy about everything you had to do.