I scared the shit out of one of my employees. I went to his desk around 330 on a friday and asked to see him in my office. As we were walking across the room, we got stopped 2 times, prolonging the walk.

He later admitted he thought he was being fired for some reason because "office talk" at end of the day friday is how that stereotypically goes, and being stopped twice was excruciating...

I literally wanted to give him more money lol. I convinced HR he was under paid and we needed to pay him more so he wouldnt leave the company. I thought that'd be great news on a friday afternoon, but i almost gave him a heart attack in the process

Read this entire post in the narrator's voice.

Bro/broline holy shit thank you!

Your comment rang a bell with me and I dove straight in. I might have this in certain areas…

Without your comment I would not have come to this specific thing!

Ackshually, as I dug into self-help approaches and business methodologies over the years, it's become very clear that it's important to learn to say “no” with abandon. Pretty much begin by assuming that refusal is the correct answer, and then figure out if there's reason to believe otherwise. In the OP case, I don't have any idea what the other party wants to talk about and therefore whether I can talk about that, so no. They should write to me what they want to ask about, then I'll see if the whole thing might just be a text reply, or perhaps I actually need to do more research. Even if we do schedule a meeting, the topic will bounce around in my head a bit in the meantime, and I will be better prepared.

Jim Camp's book ‘Start with No’ is a good introduction to this for some people, though I remember that it seemed somewhat too cheesy and obvious to me.

Weed is like rolling dice. Which high are we going to get today? Will I be productive? Will I be ravenous? Will I be on the floor petting the carpet because it makes my fingers tingle? Who knows!

Time for another playthrough, I guess!

This conversation would have me walking around the rest of the day like

Maybe they normally write their question marks without the dotʔ

Those cats were fast as lightning

I just found out about this guy who produced and co-wrote Kung Fu Fighting and showed the picture to my mrs, and she’s like “yeah, I know him”.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biddu

Which is funny because when I lived in London I knew one of the Buggles, so it’s like everyone in London is assigned an acquaintance involved in a novelty hit song.

Yep. I’m playing it right now.

It would feel more real to me if the previous sentence had used "everybody" Instead of "everyone", as it would then be the trigger word. But then the ADHD wouldn't even let the logic finish its sentence.

Needs more shivers

Pattern recognition failed its roll

i keep forwarding the memes to my wife, they create a wonderful way to visualize the problems which i have troubles to articulate