Programmer Humor

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 9 points 2 weeks ago

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[–] squirrel@cake.kobel.fyi 25 points 2 weeks ago

It's pronounced fffp.

[–] anewfox@lemmy.zip 97 points 2 weeks ago* (19 children)

i maintain that the reason everyone on the internet hates php is because the devs who write php code all day go home to their spouse and kids after work instead of arguing on the internet.

cuz, nobody really treats any other language like this, even though... gestures to npm and pypi's constant security flaws

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[–] expr@programming.dev 46 points 2 weeks ago

We are fully capable of thinking PHP, NPM, and PyPi are trash simultaneously. Though it should also be said that only PHP has had decades of security flaws in the language itself, rather than a package manager.

It's just a very poorly designed language with countless footguns and fucking idiotic standard library functions, on top of being a running joke, security-wise.

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[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 24 points 2 weeks ago

If you treat programming as a job, PHP is good because it lets you get things done.

If you treat programming as a craft, PHP is gross for a whole bunch of reasons.

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[–] infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 39 points 2 weeks ago

Yup, PHP is a workhorse language that pays the bills. Source: My bills.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 weeks ago

cuz, nobody really treats any other language like this, even though… gestures to npm

I usually see more Javascript hate than PHP hate these days, mostly because everyone had forgotten that PHP exists.

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[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

JavaScript gets a lot of shit and part of that's from me, a JavaScript dev.

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[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The most insane thing I ever worked in was Qt Creator, which used JavaScript for the UI and C++ for the lower level back end stuff. The switching your brain had to do to go back and forth between the two languages was remarkable. I think Qt is the real reason the suicide and alcoholism rates in Finland are so high.

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[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

I used Qt before as a library for C++, never knew there was a Qt Creator but that was eons ago.

My heart goes out to all those Fins.

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[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

As long as they keep all those land mines on the border, they'll be fine.

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[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Nooo but how do I hecking pad things on the left?!?!!!1!! I need 600 npm packages before I can put a div on a page

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[–] sik0fewl@piefed.ca 12 points 2 weeks ago

I definitely treat npm the worst because it deserves it.

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[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Big of true.

~~It’s true. Am PHP dev.~~

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[–] dgdft@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago*

They hate us because of our ~~freedom~~ scp-to-prod pipeline

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[–] Telemachus93@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

Well, JS is just as much of a joke to me. ;)

https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/

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[–] FishFace@piefed.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

No other language is as popular but as shit.

Php improved a lot since that article was written but anyone who had a) sense and b) choice stopped using it already. And there are many ways it continues to be fundamentally broken

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[–] carrylex@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

i maintain that the reason everyone on the internet hates php

let me finish the sentence:

...because they knew about the vulnerability since 2024 and simply forgot about it.

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[–] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Or because people had bad experiences with it. Like hosting software built in PHP, which seems to have uniquely terrible hosting mechanics and version and dependency management.

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[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 0 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Or really isn't. At least not for the last 15 or so years

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[–] kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 1 point 2 weeks ago (1 child)

"Isn't" what? If you're referring to the hosting experience, I'm talking based on experience setting up some PHP software from the last year or two. Unless you just slap docker on it, it seems to be a pain getting php running, it might want a very specific version (extra pain to get that specific version running), and I remember dependency management giving me trouble, possibly also being weird with the older version of PHP.

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[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 1 point 2 weeks ago

*It really isn't

every project I set up in the last 10 or 15 years was just "composer install" and done. (plus whatever configuration like DB etc you need)

Sure, might need to check what minimum version you need, but backwards compatibility is pretty good, so along a major version you can often just pick the latest

I don't know what weird projects you checked out, but that might just be on them instead of the language

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[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 19 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

You'll notice he didn't say: "security"

[–] BorgDrone@feddit.nl 37 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The S in PHP stands for security.

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[–] chraebsli@programming.dev 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 child)

the S in four stands for security also

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[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

I upvoted, and guess what happened?

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[–] farmgineer@nord.pub 17 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

I'm trying to find a new job here in Japan. So much of it is PHP and Ruby. I'm already depressed enough as it is!

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[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I had a coworker adopt Ruby for a major project about 20 years ago. He didn't know it, nobody on his team knew it, and nobody else in the entire state had ever heard of it, so when the project failed after two years there was nobody around who could save it. I'm sure Ruby (on Rails) is a perfectly viable language/platform, but you wouldn't know if from these guys.

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[–] farmgineer@nord.pub 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Lots of stable stuff in Japan is (or until recently was as at least some omve to go or java) ruby. It's not that it's horrible per se, but it's not going to be the most performant in some situations. I worked in grails in the past (the jvm version using groovy unsteady of ruby) and it's not the worst.

As someone with his own preferences, I would never implement something in a language no one else knew, at least without leading courses on it first and confirming ability. Bus-factor 1 is no good.

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[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 point 2 weeks ago (1 child)

TBF, my colleague also managed to produce complete disasters in a language (C#) that he knew, the entire company knew, and lots of other programmers in the area knew very well.

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[–] farmgineer@nord.pub 2 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, when process and oversight fail, that can absolutely happen. As someone who's been in the industry for 20 years, though, doing a thing that puts me as a single point of failure in production is just irresponsible. Maybe this is why I can't find a job; too much sense (I work for a shitty japanese company and want out)

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[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago* (1 child)

Ruby, for network stuff? How? Why?

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[–] farmgineer@nord.pub 5 points 2 weeks ago

The guy who made ruby was japanese so lots of adoption and documentation. I spent years doing perl in the past and ruby was based on that, but I generally prefer compiled to interpreted. I would take ruby over php though

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[–] nbsp@programming.dev 12 points 2 weeks ago

the first and only rce in history

[–] notabot@piefed.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

HAHAHAHahaha...ha... sob