Everything inexpensive, I already have. Everything else is too much to ask for.

Like pay off my medical bills/student loans.

Buy a house.

Get dental work.

8tb SSD.

These things are way too expensive to ask anyone for.

I want to not wake up to an alarm.

I want to sip coffee on my porch while I watch woodland creatures.

I want to plow a field and drink barley water.

I want to tramp around a bog looking for wild edibles while my dog flushes game.

I want to wander in the woods after a snowfall, with the Milky Way above me and it’s so quiet I can hear the owls fly by.

I want the fireflies to be all the light I need.

I want an email to never find me.

That’s what I want for Christmas.

the problem is, the reason why i want something and dont already have it is because its expensive. and i dont expect someone to pay a 3-4 figure sum for my gift

My answer is basically to stop letting a calendar date guilt trip you into wasting money on me because you've been marketed into some obligation so send me shit I don't need. If you happen to find something you think I'd actually appreciate, go for it, but even then it doesn't have to be for some stupid holiday.

I've kinda just stopped giving a shit about things like christmas or birthdays, both for me and for the people I'd consider giving a gift to, but I give them the same treatment: if I find something they'd like, I'll just buy and gift it as soon as it's convenient. And honestly the reactions are much better anyway, since it shows you're actually thinking of that person and not just fulfilling some annual ritual to send them shit cuz the commercials say it's time.

Money. Not gift cards, not 'you'll take me out for a fancy lunch', not 'I'll buy you something off your Amazon wishlist'. Money. Cold, physical currency.

Why? Parents and relatives are denser than a concrete bomb shelter. I don't want furniture, I don't want games, I don't want gift certificates. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. And for my 'splurge' list, you know what, sure mom. I want an XL David from Bad Dragon, in natural colors, and in a soft+medium firmness. And, because I want to feel like I am being spitroasted, a small Flint, in natural, and soft. I do need to work on my gag reflex. Oh, you'll just give me cash? Okay then. Don't open any package addressed to me, mmkay?

To me, this is a sign of maturity. No longer requesting specific things, but accepting what others pick out for you.

We use the strategy of “luxury consumables” often. Fancy oil/vinegar, chocolate, candles, coffee, etc.

Asking what I want? Wouldn't you rather play some sort of guessing game to prove that you know me better than I know myself?

Everything I want is expensive and I don't expect people to pay for it. Like if I were to buy something useful now, it'd be almost $1000 (fucking ram), and everything else is more expensive.

So I just say I want nothing.

"Something not expensive from the heart".

Flusters folk a lot. I frankly don't care if you give me a broken padlock or a dingalong found in a forgotten pawnshop as long as it does tie into, well, me. Intention is what matters to me more than the item.

Partial bottom surgery and a coupon for free facial/body hair removal services pls

I tell people to get me liquor and candles. Honestly, I just want my friends to show up once a year so we can hang out for a few hours like the good old times.

I generally don't want things. I get asked for a wishlist every year. I have to come up with a book list because that's really the only thing I can think of that is a normal gift

I just give a list of charities, donate in my name. I have enough trinkets probably.

I want to be free

You wishing for a comet collision with Earth too?

My birthday is coming soon, and my life is so intentionally devoid of pleasures (and so unintentionally devoid of free time) that I genuinely have no idea what to buy myself as a gift

That's the only way to become a vessel for our prince of darkness Larry Summers