Lemme scoot over and make some room for you on the toilet.
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I once made the mistake of taking a shit at school. And I heard a group of boys walk in and say "yo someone is shitting in there" and then they repeatedly kept asking who it was, kicking on the door, throwing wet paper towels over, then climbed up and peered over the side. School is a hell.
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"Oh thank God, you're right on time. Quick, get some gloves. I've got something stuck up there and could use some help! Hello?! Are you still there!?"
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What gets me are how many people don't lock their doors in public.
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When they knock, just say "Come in."
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The other day some asshole rattled the door so long and hard, as I was repeatedly shouting occupied, that the lock jiggled open and I had to hold the door shut with my foot. Then the guy shouts “What the fuck?!” and storms out of the restroom.
What the fuck, indeed, buddy. What the fuck, indeed.
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Be a kind neighbor, unleash a gutteral animalistic screech to help loosen their bowels and shorten their visit.
One time, not only did the person try the door, I yell "OCCUPIED".... then pounded on the door, then tried the handle again... somehow immediately got the attention of an employee who just fucking unlocked the door. And I'm just standing there, dick in hand like "WHAT THE FUCK"... and they were like, "oh sorry, we didn't think anyone was in here". Couldn't wait one god damn minute, cause I had just walked in.
Hello, I'm the person on the other side of the door in this meme and JUST KNOCK!
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Tried this the other day at a tourist spot and the door wasn’t locked.
I will never unsee.
rattle rattle
"Uh! Wh-who is it?!"
RATTLE RATTLE
"Uh ... occupied!"
BAM BAM BAM "UUARRRRRGH! UUARRRRRGH!"
"I, uh ... j-just you wait until I-"
BANG BANG BANG! "UUARRGLE! UUARRGLE!
"Right, you! What's your-"
Bathroom is empty.
Ay, you poopin in there!?
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This is the “just letting you know that someone is waiting” signal. I only do it when they’re taking fucking forever.
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Every workplace ever. Coupled with comment about always taken toilet (I swear to god some people forget they have to go until they see someone head in the toilets general direction)
It’s self defeating as you give the user pinch lock. Now it takes longer for them to relax back to the state of utopian release.
Just fart harder!! Show dominance through unaffected pooping.
Hurry the fuck up, it's an emergency!!
Yeah and then stare like a Simpsons Hit & Run NPC at the person that was in there for the whole fucking time they're in the venue thishappened
This happens so much, I'm convinced that some of them want to see someone in the middle of whatever...
Sometimes I swear people put in earbuds just to do this and have an excuse
frank saying occupado may be my favorite quote in IASIP
You every been so panicked you start speaking Spanish, despite English being your main?
Do a Limmy
This is why they put those big gaps between the door, so you can put your eye up to it like a peephole to be sure it's occupied. If it is, I'll usually just drop a friendly, "I like your style!" and keep waiting my turn.
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