They forgot one

(Best I can do lol)

Lives under a mountain

(is it just me, or should the first two be swapped?)

I think the intent is that the first one is "chill" because it's the lowest-effort approach for someone who doesn't want a beard but can't be arsed to keep fully clean-shaven. This guy doesn't care that much, but probably shaves 1-2 times per week or uses an electric shaver to keep himself presentable.

The second is a more intentional style. It takes more effort to maintain stubble on your face and also clean lines than either a full beard or the "chill" guy's style. This guy is probably doing daily maintenance on the lines as well as buzzing down the stubble regularly. So it's less "chill" because it's higher-effort.

Takes their religion way too seriously

This alignment chart is all over the place. ACAB in Lawful Evil? Hailing Satan in Lawful Neutral? Police in Chaotic Evil?

"Is the police" got me

Guess it's time I learned how to grill seitan.

The 2nd one needs to "chill out" because he's carefully shaving where he doesn't want beard.

I'm on too chill camp imo

Exactly right for the bartender and law enforcement I know

What's "Call the police"? That looks like a Jazz musician to me, who would also say "fuck the police". If "Call the police" is someone who is afraid of things and most likely to want help from the police, I'd say that's the clean shaven look.

To me, it's managers and execs who are easily scared and want protection from the cops. That's a look I associate with a suit and tie, a short haircut with a side part, and completely shaved facial hair.