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And how am I supposed to eat this soup with no spoon? (media.piefed.world)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 52 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Krammer: "hey whatchu guys talkin about"

George: "Some guy offered me some pills"

Krammer, suspiciously interested: "What, like some drugs? That's a bad scene George!"

Jerry: "Not to worry Krammer, George turned him down."

George: "No water. Can't take pills with no water!"

Krammer: "Kind of weak reason to turn down pills, but good on you! I made that mistake once- (dramatically) NEVER AGAIN."

Jerry: "Why am I not surprised?"

Krammer: "Guy claimed he was some new age Indian Yogi, had the robes, whole bit! I was out for three days, and when I came too, I was on a fishing boat 30 miles off of Nantucket!"

George: "You never told us you were a longshoreman."

Krammer: "I wasn't. They pulled me in with the catch. Apparently I thought I was a tuna!"

[edit] (Mixed up who was being offered the pills, doesn't change the scene though.)

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    • [–] 26 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    But there is a glass of water and Neo drinks from it in the scene

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zE7PKRjrid4&pp=0gcJCWQCo7VqN5tD

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    • [–] 25 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    But he had a glass of water!

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  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago

    This isn't about The Matrix, this is about an earlier scene in this hypothetical episode of Seinfeld. In this hypothetical episode one may deduce from the dialogue that Jerry was not offered water. But yes, in The Matrix, Neo had water.

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    • [–] 23 points 3 months ago

    Kramer: "I know kung fu Jerry"

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    [–] 62 points 3 months ago* (8 children)

    A Seinfeld reenactment of other famous movie scenes would be hilarious.

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  • [–] 58 points 3 months ago* (2 children)

    Jerry: She literally said, "life is like a box of chocolates"?
    George: Yes, she said, "you never know what you're gonna get."
    Jerry: "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get"?
    George: Word for word.
    Jerry: They have a card in them...
    George: They have a menu.
    Jerry: Right, the little menu card! So you know exactly what you're getting.
    George: I told her that.
    Jerry: So what did you do?
    George: I took that box of chocolates and I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across the Upper West Side. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run across Manhattan. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Manhattan. For no particular reason I just kept on going.

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  • [–] 17 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    I'd fuck with The Wizard of Oz where Elaine is Dorothy, Kramer is the Scarecrow, Jerry is the Tin Man, and George is the Cowardly Lion.

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    • [–] 13 points 3 months ago

    "But I don't want to be a battery!!!!" [Said in a whiny voice, by an adult man that dated a high school girl]

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    [–] 21 points 3 months ago (15 children)

    Always struck me the amount of scenes in shows and movies where they just dry-pill it actually.

    Apparently it's to save runtime.. But it always just makes the audience think the character is making a strange choice - or breaks the fourth wall with the reminder they're taking a pill without water. But hey, you saved those 3 seconds of b-roll of the character sipping water, grats.

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  • [–] 11 points 3 months ago (9 children)

    I can dry swallow and do half the time. Am I doing something wrong ?

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  • [–] 11 points 3 months ago (6 children)

    Well, you don't simply have to get a pill into your throat, it also must go all the way down.
    And some pills like sticking to the throat lining very much.
    And you might not notice that.
    And, sticking in place, they can lead to nasty things, like inflammation or chemical burns - aspirin, for example, does that.
    The water is there to prevent that.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 months ago (5 children)

    Just conjure sone spit and swallow. It's not hard.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    What am I, some kind of spit wizard?

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    I went to spit college, got my spit masters. They ain't just give these spit wizard robes out to just any dipshit who gives them ten fifty five

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    The pill needs to dissolve in a better liquid than just stomach acid. It never stops being weird how people don't understand that, it's not even something that should need to be taught since it's obvious. All pills made to swallow are made to be swallowed with water.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    I think most people assume that stomach acid which breaks down solids, would break down solids that are made to be broken down, without additional assistance needed. That seems like a totally and perfectly reasonable assumption to make based on what the average person knows about their body. We all experience first hand why it can make the taking easier.

    I get it is weird to you, but what I just said seems rational to anyone who doesn’t spend a lot of time doing pill-taking process research.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

    I can take a pill without water. It's not pleasant but I can do it. I don't, however, look natural while taking it like I do with water. The raised neck and facial contortions I do and the time it takes would make those 3 seconds with a drink a far better choice.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago*

    I never take pills with water. Just swallow a few times to get things lubed up, then get a decent wad of spit and send it. I think I've gotten a pill "stuck" maybe three or four times.

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    [+] 8 points 3 months ago* (2 children)
    [deleted]
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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    A car speeds to a stop beside you. Kramer in the passenger seat, Mel Gibson driving.

    "Get in," Kramer says, "we need to save humanity."

    Select your character:

    1. Pete Hegseth
    2. Some black Jewish dude
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    • [–] 7 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    What is this? A meme for 1999?

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    • [–] 7 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    You think that's rough? My spoon is too big.

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    • [–] 12 points 3 months ago

    And then Jerry laughs as a bunch of Israelis gun down some more children and says "Palestine? It doesn't exist!"

    Seinfeld bops play

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    [–] 6 points 3 months ago

    The Pill isn't meant to be put in the ass? Don't need water for that

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    [+] 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)
    [deleted]
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    • [–] 5 points 3 months ago

    Anyone remember the fan made script of a post-9/11 Seinfeld? Gotta go look that up.

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    [–] 10 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Kramer enters in a leather coat

    and to everyones surprise starts yelling the N word a bunch.

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  • [–] 33 points 3 months ago

    Hot take: Jerry (the actor) is way more racist than Richards. Richards had one (admittedly very bad) moment that he’s spent every moment since apologizing for; Jerry continues to support Zionist Israel.

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