they're for storing cool rocks, obviously, and it's adults who are the fools for abandoning this wisdom

Pockets in baby clothes exist to frustrate women.

Parent here.

I assure you they have goals.

Are they your goals? No. But they are goals.

Those keys on the counter? That dog food bowl? The poison under the sink? All goals

For candies and cool rocks

Cool rocks

Leaves, good pieces of mulch, snacks

It's to hold lizards and acorn caps.

They definitely have goals. Not long term ones, but "sneak cool rocks home" is a goal.

Former baby here. Obviously for random things they find on the ground

For acorns, pebbles and trash that seemed useful at the moment?

My 4yo says she keeps candy in her candy pockets. I hope that remains the case long into adulthood.

As a parent, you can shove stuff in their pockets. It's convenient storage that stays with the baby and usually they won't mess with it overly much.

For rocks.

Clearly for rocks and acorns....

It's mostly for the pocket sand. If someone attacks a toddler, he can stand his ground and cast pocket sand to retaliate.

As a parent I can answer this one. Nice rocks mostly. Sometimes bugs or candy or sand. Sticks tend to be too big.

Neither do most grown ups.

For muddy rocks, cool bugs, weird grass that makes you itchy, neat mushrooms, this weird fuzzy thing, etc.

Dirt

By that logic, I also do not need pockets.

For rocks and grass and sand

Pocket sand. Obviously.

Now I'm wondering why I have pockets on MY clothes

Ice cubs, little kids pockets are for them to stuff ice cubes in.

I thought like a lot of people their goals mostly revolved around suckin' titty. Was I wrong?