205
Vent: Turns out that my parents have been reading books on transgender issues from a"biblical" perspective and ignoring everything I've ever lent or sent their way. (lemmy.zip)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
28 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Fuck Evangelicalism. Fucking hate the way it destroyed my childhood and continues to poison my family.

I'm sick and tired of the way they continue to ignore my transition even two years in. I don't know if I can continue to be in contact with them anymore and it breaks my heart. I don't know if I can deal with another goddamn holiday season of Christian bullshit.

Fucking hate that my dad is a pastor. Took so much shit away from me because of a mass delusion.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 38 points 1 day ago (7 children)

I no longer speak to my southern baptist parents. They sacrificed my life for their imaginary death god. They learned hate and called it "love". I will never be okay.

If it wasn't called "religion," more people would understand how absurdly dangerous it is to pretend the bible is more truth than fiction. I hope humanity can mature out of harmful superstition.

Wishing you the best. You deserve so much better.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • hideshow 7 child comments
    •
  • [–] [S] 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    It's a very unique kind of pain, grieving a life that never was. I don't think about what-ifs very often and do my best to love the family I have, but talking about my childhood with my girlfriend who was raised in a secular home seems to have brought up a lot of negative emotions in me that I thought I had laid to rest.

    Thank you for the kind comment.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 2 points 1 day ago

    I'm glad you have support, at least. ❤️

    I wrote a mini song about a year ago about that very subject. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p50EGpfNRVk

    "There's no saving the child that I was. The child that I was didn't need saving. So why, why did you throw me away? Just one shot at life and it's gone."

    ... It's not ALL gone yet. I'm only 35. There is still time, and I hope things get better. It's very difficult when my foundation is broken and backwards impulses were forcefully programmed into me. I am getting therapy. The farther I get away from my parents, the better I feel. I have to consciously remind myself that they were wrong, that I deserve better. I never want to let them hurt me again. I want to stop hurting myself, too. I will keep trying while I am able. 🙂

    I think on some level, the pain will always be there. We cannot change the past. We can look to the future and try to be who we want to be instead of who we were made to be. Easier said than done, admittedly. Good luck to you. Thank you for sharing your struggle.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 5 points 1 day ago (3 children)

    Is this from something, or do you just create great lyrics whenever you write?

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
    •
  • [–] 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    Which part? "There ain't no hate like christian 'love'" is a fairly common saying. I did write a song about it, funnily enough: https://lemmy.world/post/56220755

    I've had a lot of time to reflect on my situation, and seeing others go through similar pain stirs up a lot of emotions. I try to be concise and supportive, emotional without being overly dramatic, but it is a deeply frustrating situation. Many parents are controlling and possessive instead of showing their children the love they need. I wish I could help somehow.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 3 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    I absolutely agree with and love your message ❤️

    Something felt very poetic about your first comment, I might just love the way you write.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
    •
  • [–] 1 point 1 day ago

    Thank you. 🙂 I wanted to write novels when I was young. I think poetry is underrated, but also that it can be difficult to indulge in artistic expression without veering into pretentiousness. I also wanted to create video games, which is why I went for a computer science degree. My career in tech did not go where I wanted. Now I kind of wish I had gone for environmental science so I could do something to help clean up the messes humanity is still making.

    I also have a slew of personal problems thanks to the years of abuse. I'm getting therapy, but I'm very scared for the future. Thank you for caring. ❤️

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent