I'm glad you have support, at least. ❤️

I wrote a mini song about a year ago about that very subject. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p50EGpfNRVk

"There's no saving the child that I was. The child that I was didn't need saving. So why, why did you throw me away? Just one shot at life and it's gone."

... It's not ALL gone yet. I'm only 35. There is still time, and I hope things get better. It's very difficult when my foundation is broken and backwards impulses were forcefully programmed into me. I am getting therapy. The farther I get away from my parents, the better I feel. I have to consciously remind myself that they were wrong, that I deserve better. I never want to let them hurt me again. I want to stop hurting myself, too. I will keep trying while I am able. 🙂

I think on some level, the pain will always be there. We cannot change the past. We can look to the future and try to be who we want to be instead of who we were made to be. Easier said than done, admittedly. Good luck to you. Thank you for sharing your struggle.