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The perfect language (lemmy.ml)
submitted 6 months ago by to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 64 points 6 months ago (26 children)

Honestly, I think Sumerian or Akkadian would be better but Latin does have its charms.

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  • [–] 62 points 6 months ago (14 children)

    Ehh honestly, can't something as powerful and as long lived as Satan just... Know all spoken languages?

    Imagine Satan trying to seduce you, but unable to buy your soul because he can't speak your language fluently. Would be a funny setup, but kinda lame

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  • [–] 18 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Well, for the Western world, classical Latin has a kind of mystique or vibe that other languages don't. People fear the grammar and classical pronunciation is just different enough (all c's are pronounced as "k") to make it sound familiar and foreign.

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago (6 children)

    Most versions I've seen in TV and movies can.
    I'd assume all celestials can speak all languages ever created.

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  • [–] 10 points 6 months ago (5 children)

    That's incredibly offensive.

    Implying that a holy being could speak french makes me wanna barf

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    I'm not sure of your reasoning. But I'll provide two ideas that may make you feel better and/or worse about it.

    1. It wouldn't be their first language.
    2. They'd speak it as well as if it were.
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  • [–] 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

    Have you seen Akkadian? Shits got like 300 letters. Latin was definitely the upgrade.

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  • [–] 13 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    One of my professors could read Akkadian. He had to master Biblical Hebrew before being allowed to begin studying Akkadian. He said he had hundreds of flashcards and spent at least an hour every day studying them - aside from doing his regular coursework.

    I took 25 credit hours each of Biblical Hebrew and Latin, and I am quite content never having attempted Akkadian.

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  • [–] 6 points 6 months ago (1 child)

    Aramaic seems like it was a big deal for a while

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  • [–] 3 points 6 months ago

    It was, more in the Ptolemaic and Roman periods in Palestina and Judaea. It takes almost all of its vocabulary from Hebrew. Even at its height, it was basically just a regional language and never had the reach and depth that Greek and Latin had.

    It's important if you're studying intertestamental or early Christian texts, but, even then, many were translated to Greek

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  • [–] 5 points 6 months ago (5 children)

    Yes but how many Sumerian or Akkadian grimoires survive today in their original language?

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  • [–] 6 points 6 months ago (4 children)

    Nowhere as many as Latin. As far as ancient languages, Egyptian magical texts definitely outnumber Akkadian and Sumerian.

    A large number of surviving Akkadian texts are commercial or official records. The most famous is probably the complaint against Ea Nasir.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago* (2 children)

    Unfortunately we know what latin sounds like (though most of hollywood has only a vague concept), and nobody speaks ancient Egyptian of Akkadian.

    From what I gather even reading either is a nightmare..

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  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago

    Unless Ea Nasir was carving scarabs and magic squares on his copper, I don't think that counts as a magical text.

    I'm aware of the Chaldean Oracles, but they don't survive in their original language. I think the oldest surviving translations are in Greek or Arabic.

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