whose social norm?

this is the issue. you assume your social norms are shared by everyone. they aren't. and then mods and such impose their social norms on everyone else rather than let the users decide what content they want to see.

i watched it happen countless times. community is pretty chill, but then a mod comes in and starts banning people who have been here for months/years over word choices or 'tone' or other petty nonsense because they want the community to only reflect their own personal norms and beliefs.

in real life you can go from town to town and the details of the norms and language change, that's what's normal. in some towns saying some words in heinous, in others, nobody cares.

it also doesn't take into account the concept of context, which again, doesn't exist for the sensitivity police who think all words mean the same things at all times and therefore must be banned from existence. let alone experiences, beliefs, or all the other things that actually make a community genuine diverse and interesting. the sensitivity police want to stamp out genuine diversity and create some weird linguistic police state nonsense where only certain things are permitted.

"Ableism" I stopped reading here. I'm so tired of you armchair activists and your bullshit. Get a job. If someone says something you don't like, get over it!

Language is an evolving, organic tool, and attempting to police it usually says more about the person doing the policing than the person speaking. When we start labeling certain verbiage as "correct" or "incorrect," we aren't actually protecting the language; we are just enforcing a personal or social preference.

Communication is about the transmission of ideas. If the message was received, the language did its job. Whether it was delivered with a academic precision or through "crass" slang is irrelevant to its functional success. Demanding that everyone adhere to a specific aesthetic or moral standard of speech is just a subtle way of trying to control how others express their reality. If you make certain words the enemy, you're essentially arguing for a narrow, sterilized version of expression that leaves no room for the raw or the unconventional. It's better to engage with the actual argument being made rather than retreating into the safety of tone policing.