Their kids' needs don't matter, what matters is that the parent has a successful child. The measure of success is of course from the point of view of the selfish parent.

Honestly, the amount of parents that act like their precious little baby is going to always be a precious little baby is astounding. It's like the idea that their child is going to someday become an adult doesn't enter their minds. They don't realize how much they're setting their kids up for failure by refusing to allow (let alone encourage) them to do things independently.

There are times and places to step in and help your child, absolutely. But as they get older, those times should become rarer and rarer. To hand-hold all the time doesn't build their confidence, doesn't let them hone their skills, and encourages dependence on someone else to always do things for them. It's hard to let go, but it's a part of growing up.

I know the youngster in one of these kinds of situations, and she is ashamed. She's also intimidated into compliance and desperate to leave so she can have her own life.