I cannot believe my morning erections are being judged by trash girlfriend.

If we could simply choose when we got erections, high school would have been much less awkward

Use the force

Proceeds to pee like the guy in Upload

scoot back

No they just sling it round their neck for that.

Analyze the form factor of toilet. Is it one of those round ones that's sized for potty-training a child? Emergencies only. The bowl deep enough and water low enough? Push dick down with one hand, hope Poseidon doesn't kiss your willy. Stand up far to wipe, don't sit down too fast. Try not to piss under the seat.

Prefer to avoid public restrooms for shits, stand up to pee.

Wait, are you dragging your schlong against the inside of the toilet so it gets in contact with the water that runs down it?

Cleaner for your penis: sitting down eliminates the last drops remaining that are common when standing up

only if you do the gooch scooch

Even when sitting down we have to aim the nozzle manually, so it's just sitting down for a moment then getting up, which normally is more work than standing there for a moment.

And (at least for me), it is more comfortable peeing standing up (albeit that might be because of a lifetime of doing it like that).

Another compromise is to pee in the shower. or better yet, on there indoor plants, this way we don't need to water them.

I don't like it when my thing touchs the inside of the toilet its disgusting and other xommentters took the time to explain the simple reasons for you

Just the need of undoing your pants/belt already makes it easier to stand up.

And some seats have that front opening, which helps, otherwise there's often not much room to pee sitting down.

Then there's also some people who prefer to cover the seat with toilet paper before sitting down.

It's easier to stand up.