I can't tell if you're being ironic or not lol.

I'll write my response as if you're being sincere;

Cabin in the Woods is one of my all time favourite movies, but the entire premise is built around horror movie tropes.

The "gods" mentioned at the end of the movie are the movie viewers themselves. They "demand blood" (watching a splatter movie for the sake of watching people get killed).

It's a requirement that "the virgin" be the last one killed, but the death is optional (this is a staple of horror movies; the 'Final Girl')

One of the literary devices the movie toys with is the idea that ALL the horror movies we've seen are part of the same universe, and the guys in the offices are the ones pulling the strings to entertain us.

The entire movie is one giant nudge-nudge, wink-wink for people who love to get meta with horror movies.

If you enjoyed it regardless, that's fine, but my point was that it would be a bad product if it tried to accommodate for viewers such as yourself.