I project past the first drink, past the 20th drink where I feel so sick I can't move without puking, two weeks into the future, where everything is once again unravelling in my life and I've abandoned every friendship because they are barriers to my drinking, 2 years into the future, where I'm either dead or wishing I was. I have been these places before, and I know it's a certainty that I'll be there again if I pick up. I ask myself if this is the future I want for myself.

Then I eat a big ol' bag of candy and watch a comfort show while I put off doing an inventory.

It becomes a thing that it doesn't matter what the occasion is, drinking is the thing to do for blowing off steam, celebrating, going out, staying in - whatever it is that you can justify it in your own head.

Replacements work fine for some of it, I'm still a ginger ale fiend. But it really came down to what most people in AA will tell you, all you need to do is avoid having the first drink today, tomorrow is another battle. That's still the goal for the next day, but it's way, way less daunting than thinking about being sober forever.

Eventually you'll see the benefits you've made for yourself and if you're anything like me, resent the idea of ever having a drink again. Genuinely not sure what it would take for me to go back to drinking, and that's from a guy that could chase a flask of rum with a bottle of wine any day of the week for any occasion.

It'll take time, and it certainly isn't easy, finding a new hobby that you haven't yet poisoned with drinking is probably a good idea, and it doesn't hurt to take in AA meetings. They shove the religious stuff too much for me, so I don't go anymore, but it was instrumental for my first 90 days.

There's enough nuggets of wisdom to put aside my utter distaste of the abrahamics, you don't need to do all the steps, you just need to recognize you have a problem, and are there to remedy it, take what works and leave the rest.

Best of luck friend, if I could do it, I'm sure anyone can, stay strong, it's much better on the other side I can promise you that much.

Replace "You had a bad day, dude. Don't you deserve a drink?" with "I had a challenging day. My body and mind deserve a healthy way to relax." Then find that. You have to control the self-talk, and it will take time, effort, and determination. Then distract yourself with something healthy. Make a salad, crochet, take a walk, read a book, watch a movie.

Gym.

Hard to drink while pushing plates.

And it’s cathartic and releases dopamine.

Make a plan with an accountability buddy, schedule a class, or just add an appointment in your calendar to keep yourself focused.

Seltzer. Especially a large can. I did Liquid Death Tall Boys

And knowing there is no 1:1 and part of the process is willpower.

I generally find that doing something else helps. Either a cup of herbal tea, a walk or other exercise, meditating, reading a book, a hobby. Something relaxing that starts to break the association of "tough day" = "have a drink."

Recognise the habit for what it is - a bad habit that is not serving you, but because you've been drinking for however long, there is a well-worn neural pathway that has a signpost that says "alcohol helps this." Acknowledge the feeling, but let it go. Start building new neural pathways that have signposts that say "exercise helps this," or "have a cup of tea and a sit down," or some other form of self care.

If your new relaxation/self care habit needs things, make sure you have those in. Experiment with the fancy teas. Have good books available. Where's the good park with the nice walking paths? What time does the museum shut? Don't let yourself get to the point of your brain screaming for a drink but you don't have any tools to hand to offer alternatives.

I know it sounds obvious, but don't have alcohol in the house. Make it as difficult as possible to go out and get booze. For the first couple of months after I stopped drinking, I changed my route home so I wasn't going past the supermarket at the end of the road. I planned my meals and got my groceries delivered, so I didn't have the "ugh, nothing to eat, I've got to go to the supermarket, ooops how did this bottle of wine get in my basket?" thing. I knew once I was home with the front door closed and my slippers on, I wasn't going out again unless my flat caught fire, so I made it as easy as possible to not go out.

It sounds good: "I've had a hard day, I deserve a drink"... But in reality, you're just poisoning yourself. We all know it, and you don't feel good the next day. Try to stop thinking of something that's bad for your body and bad for your life as a reward...

My experience is with stopping drinking soda, not alcohol, so not quite the same. What helped me is just to reiterate all the bad effects it had on me, like acid reflux, teeth hurting, sugar crash an hour later and long term health effects. When I wanted to "reward" myself after surviving a sucky day, I would remind myself that it is not a reward, it is hurtful and leads to me feeling more sucky in the long term. And I deserve better than that.

I replaced drinking with weed, it’s far better for keeping me from a bunch of bad decisions that come from drinking and has immensely helped me learn to find other ways to cope with what was causing me to drink in the first place.

I’ve been meaning to get a vaporizer so I don’t have to deal with as much coughing / cancer risk tho

I happen to be the first one passing by, so I will attempt an answer even if I am unqualified.

Rough days will happen and it is natural to want a pick me up after one such days. What you need is a different type of comfort. So, thinking ahead, start visualizing what type of comfort would help you in the long run.

Drinking one evening is overall bad for you - for whichever reason you decided to stop drinking, they are still all valid even after a rough day. So hold those thoughts in your head.

On the other hand, explore what would help you destress. A warn bath/shower? A silly comedy show? Reading a book and disconnecting from reality? Crafting anything? Cooking something? Doing yoga? Eating chocolate?

Focus on: what would make you feel good tomorrow that is manageable today?

Once you have your solution, “rehearse”, think about it, remind yourself over and over that that’s what you do to chill. Look forward to it over the day. Make it a habit you can be proud of, such that you can then say “yesterday was a rough day, but that warm bath really settled the score and today I feel better for it”

sounds rough mate. I've no advice, but i hear ya

wonderful, we're glad to have you here.

There's lots of pinned posts if you want to see if any of them catch your attention.

Great job!! How do you feel, you should be over the worst now!

I will not drink with you today!

Great job! You’ve got this!! Make sure to keep yourself busy.

I've been a daily drinker for the past 20 years or so.

Like with gambling, I've always said that it's time to stop when it's not fun anymore.

I've not had a drink since Saturday

Deal

IWNDWYT!

I will not drink today also.

I will not drink with you today!

welcome, we're glad to have you here.

I've managed a day off last week, and a day where I drank less than usual and no spirits, and I've really noticed how much better I felt the next morning. So this morning I've put all the booze away out of sight, and IWNDWYT.

Halloween can be tough for sure if your social circles are partying, and being sober in that kind of setting is new for us. Take breaks, excuse yourself if you need to step away, go outside and walk around for a bit. Not today :)

congratulations!

Still not drinking, day 300. Thank you for the daily support.