I once described the experience as blowing wet sand through a wind tunnel.

The gif is just long enough that it changed as I zoomed in on in Guinevere's face and scared the shit out of me.

It's always "Glaze-tig Ooh-ayne" in my head

Original comic is from The Far Side by Gary Larson, 03/26/1993

Looks like the characters from the original comic have been edited into this image:

Which is from the 1st edition Warhammer 40 K Rogue Trader rulebook, page 172 (thanks to this reddit comment)

I have these and they're every bit as wonderful as they seem.

Looks like it's from https://www.porntrex.com/video/2080859/reese-robbins-guardian-angel (NSFW)

Reminds me of the end of this video: https://youtube.com/watch?v=gAQSicsoEu0

With Signulous you can side load uYouEnhanced. This blocks ads, includes SponsorBlock, and a number of other nice add-ons. Signulous costs $20 a year though, and you have to install a sketchy certificate to side load, and there's always a chance Apple breaks Signulous (happened a few times before but there's always been fixes). You can manually side load uYouEnhanced without Signulous, but it requires some research & weekly upkeep.

The femtanyl shirt goes as hard as their music

I had that mentality of "I just need girlfriend to fix me" for a long time. I was lucky that enough people like you made posts and comments like these and the message eventually got through to me. Therapy has been great for helping me understand how to fix and improve my life without relying on someone else, and that's motivated me to exercise more, eat better, and improve my mental health through journaling and other activities.

I know it can sometimes feel like you're shouting into the void with comments like this, where a few people upvote and you get some silly responses, but you never know if your comment may be the one that finally gets through to someone. I appreciate comments like this and I hope people never stop repeating it.

It's always fun seeing another Reddthat user in the wild.

I find the juxtaposition of the innocuous lead in ("text from my mom") with the rather unhinged text funny. The comparison to poetry, which I personally associate with peacefulness, adds to the expectation that it's going to be a pleasant text, which gets subverted spectacularly. I can also imagine the mom's encounter with the steak, resulting in them drafting the text to their child, which makes me chuckle because it's such a silly thing to experience.

It's less explicitly funny than a lot of things, but the subtlety doesn't mean it isn't funny. Humor is subjective and all, but there's plenty of funny to be found here for most people.