Bearded and (I'm guessing) polyamorous.

• Hegseth: pardon for war crimes, prison, then back to Fox News

• Miller: murders his wife after his promotion, gets a pardon, dies in a bunker like his hero instead of surrendering to police

• RFK Jr: trades on his family name, takes a deal, a few years in club fed where he dies from raw milk but everyone treats it like a big conspiracy

• Vance: tries to leave the party, tries to make a deal, writes a "tell-all", stabbed by a methed up magat for betraying trump while shopping for a new chaise longe

• Don Jr: flees the country

• Bovino: prison

• Patel: represents himself at trial, prison, tries to bribe a guard, more prison, Fox News contract until a sex scandal

• Rubio: flees to become viceroy of Venezuela but dies there at the hands of Venezuelan military coup

• Big Balls: tries to snitch, gets blamed for all Musk crimes, dies in prison under mysterious circumstances leaving an email confession for impersonating Elon in all matters including the Epstein stuff

• Natalie: light prison followed by Fox News but quickly ages out and is replaced

We turn now to surprised Pikachu for a live reaction.

Federalist society membership should be an automatic disqualifier.

Behold, a man!

People shopping at the "hard truths that random people who pass me on the street need to know" store create demand for such products.

You didn't learn active shooter drills? How did you avoid getting shot?

I hate how right you are because nobody patched this shit in too long.

He will matter when the time comes to get things done. You want to convict trump? 2/3 majority in the Senate. Want to amend the constitution to teach John Roberts how to read? 66 votes. Hooked on phonics, John. Start with seeing spot run. Democrats can legislate with the majority they have, but now they have to do that and override vetoes. You guessed it, 2/3.

People aren't going to accept "we tried" again. If Democrats fuck this up now, again, just disband the party.

I'd love to see it live if he bursts into actual flames and his soul is dragged into hell, screaming.

I thought based on the thumbnail that this was about Daredevil.

Headline fix:

Rabid animal that impotent Republican congress refuses to put down foams at the mouth in panic during final run up to voting day.