do you think I went to his place at 3am to discuss the economical and political state of the world?
If it was my place then the answer would at least partially be yes.
do you think I went to his place at 3am to discuss the economical and political state of the world?
If it was my place then the answer would at least partially be yes.
I’m getting to the point my tastes are… inverting. Younger men looking better and better these days since older men for me is now actually old men lol
No matter how old you get, 20 year olds stay the same age.
As someone who has aged, I gotta disagree.
In high school, 20 year olds were ancient and wise.
In college, 20 year olds became peers and competitors
Once I started working, 20 year olds were the newbies
Now 20 year olds are indistinguishable from babies. Just having a conversation that ends with "After this we're going to the bar, you want to come?" and getting told "Uh... I'm not quite old enough to drink" blows my mind every time I hear it.
”After this we're going to the bar, you want to come?" and getting told "Uh... I'm not quite old enough to drink" blows my mind every time I hear it.
Wait till you reach the point where it reverses and the 20-30 year olds are the ones asking and you have to decline.
Unless you digivolve into a grandaddy fantasy
I think the technical term is grave robbing, as opposed to cradle robbing.
Isn’t that only if you marry them for their money?
Not necessarily. I knew an extremely attractive young woman in her 20s who nicknamed herself the "crypt-creeper", because well.. that what she liked.
No reason to marsh others mellow.
Huh. I have always liked guys my age, whatever that age is, and always for some reason have been pursued only by guys my age or younger (defining "my age" as a few years in either direction). Will need to see if that holds, but I didn't expect it to still be true at this age so maybe.
Looks wise yeah I think more younger guys look better but OMG when I see a fit guy my age, that strikes me much more.
"He's using you for your body."
And I'm using him for his.
god forbid people gasp enjoy sex
OP is only recently 18. Sexual partner is over 50. It's not 100% sunshine and roses.
that's two consenting adults enjoying each others' company. the sunshine and roses level isn't really anyone's business but theirs
Gives me the ick. Serious Trump vibes.
The whole "daddy, please tell the bodyguards to bonk me, they're refusing because they think you'll sack them!" thing and the "daddy please can I bonk one of your middle aged chums?" stuff is all more than weird to me.
She comes across as happy and knowing exactly what she wants, so that's a positive, but I think her dad has a very weak 'no' game and has had for years and years. Not everything that we want at 18 is good for us. Only a handful of months ago she was a literal child.
the thing is you gotta draw the adulthood line somewhere and just let young adults have sexual autonomy
OP may or may not be having a healthy relationship that they may or may not regret later but they're well within their right to point out that that's nobody's business but their own and they shouldn't be getting unsolicited judgment for it
My opinion is that posting anything publicly enough that I hear about it is at the very least a de facto invitation for my opinion on it. That would be different if it were e.g. paparazzi reporting on the potentially private affairs of the wealthy and famous.
Gives me the ick.
That’s your ick, not theirs.
At some point you need to acknowledge that every detail of their relationship you’re imagining, you’ve invented from zero other information in order to gross yourself out.
Wh... Yes? What do other people do at 3am?
Play rimworld, mostly.
Okay yes.
Disgusting. You know you're kind of the bad guy in that, right?
Factorio is basically just role-playing as the US: You land on a planet and liberate the oil from the natives.
But I also like Dungeon Keeper or Rimworld where you can actually play as a genuinely evil god.
There is nothing wrong with being evil in a video game. Sometimes it just feels good to be bad.
Why not both?
seriously if i can't discuss geopolitical economics with a lover, why am i loving them?
well it's nice to know every time i have a good idea for a short everyone's already done it and done it better, so just stay out of the film industry i'm better as a cameraman than a director :3
Never fear, everything's been done in one form or another. Just got to give it your own little spin and it's all good!
Perhaps inverting all elements of this...
So, I finally made a fetlife account. I'm roughly 35, M.
Looking through people in my area.
See a fairly wide range of people, but notice that... a fair number of accounts are seemingly obviously lying about their age. In either direction, sometimes.
Follow a few accounts.
Surprisingly, one follows me back within like an hour or two ... long story short, this woman has a fantastic body, but claims she's 55. Isn't showing her face on her profile, totally makes sense as a privacy measure, also leads me to think its more likely she's listing a fake age, as another privacy measure.
I say hello type words, including basically 'theres no way you're 55 right? you look to be 15 years younger.'
Fucking nope, nope I am wrong, she actually is 55, and is just in incredible shape.
So I guess now I am entirely unintentionally into MILFs. Still think she looks great!
Did you also notice how many people are from Antarctica and 99yrs old? So far as the "no face pic" I would bet she has a lot of hidden - for friends only - pics that will have her face.
For whatever reason, at least in my area, no, people don't seem to do that. I haven't seen a one that used that kind of anonymization.
at least in my area, no, people don’t seem to do that
I guess you're not on Antarctica then :p
It was fairly common in my area, and was a running joke. Just search Antarctica you will see a lot of people there, the people I knew were forthcoming in person it was just to stop random people messaging them
Why would a 40 year old lie about being 55? What a strange accusation hahah
I’d believe people are lying about being older if they’re really young on dating apps.
I mistyped, I meant to write 25 years younger.
But why would somebody lie from roughly 30 to present as 55?
Well really, the pattern that I thought I'd noticed was that people would just bullshit their age by a round number, 5, 10, 20, etc years, in any direction.
An obfuscation/privacy tactic more so than like, a catfishing tactic.
The other thing at play here is that ... I was genuinely baffled, in disbelief.
I literally have never seen a 55 yo woman in as good of shape as she is, she's in better shape than most women I've known who actually are in the age bracket I thought she was in.
I literally have never seen a 55 yo woman in as good of shape as she is, she’s in better shape than most women I’ve known who actually are in the age bracket I thought she was in.
Sigh.
???
Is... is this a problem for you, in some way?
That I have a body type preference, on a website explicitly designed for people to seek out specific consensual sexual experiences?
You've literally never seen a 55 year old woman in shape? I don't believe you.
Look up a list of celebrity women who are currently 55 years old.
This idea that women are decrepit and ugly and old at 55 is asinine.
Edit: Y'all really going to believe that women like Salma Hayek and Cate Blanchett don't exist?
Not in person, not in real life, not 'in my local area and looking to mingle', no.
I don't regularly... go to gyms where 55 yo women are, and ... I think all of my intimate partners have been within a max of +/- 3 years of my own age.
I'm not trying to nor did I say that all older women are decrepit and ugly.
I'm saying that generally speaking, women (as well as men), kinda tend to let themselves go a bit, as they get older... and honestly there is nothing wrong with that, that is completely normal. Getting old hurts, it makes staying in shape hard... it would be ridiculous to have basically the same general physique expectations for both a 30 yo and a 55 yo woman, or man.
What is very not normal is to actually encounter a 55 yo women in approximately similar physique condition as ~55 yo Selma Hayek or Cate Blanchette.
It is so not normal to me, that I literally didn't believe it.
The internet and celebrities != real life.
55 years old isn't really that old though.
You don't notice women in their 50s in your day to day life at all? They're all fat or otherwise disabled?
Like no, this is still mind blowing to me that a single 55 year old woman in shape left you "genuinely baffled and in disbelief"
Look I don't know what to tell you... I have no reason to lie about this.
Yeah, in my life, most older people tend to let themselves go.
Yes, most older people I've known as friends or family or regular acquaintances or coworkers are somewhat to significantly more fat than they were in their 30s, and yes, by the time they hit 55, many of them also have at least one somewhat to very serious kind of disability.
Maybe I'm just from a poorer millieu than you, where people don't tend to have the money or time to afford good food and healthcare and spare time to excercise?
I mean, I live in the US. There's a lack of good food and healthcare and spare time here more than most.
I want to challenge you to take a real look around the next time you're in like a grocery store or somewhere public. There are a lot of women in their 50s doing just fine and looking great and they're not celebrities.
Again, finding out fit women in their 50s exist shouldn't leave you genuinely baffled and in disbelief.
... I'm autistic and thus abnormally aware of patterns and details, basically all the time, everywhere, by default.
What I have described to you as my reality, as my lived experience, is accurate.
To me, a 55 yo woman in ... yeah, basically as good of shape as a world famous celebrity actress? EDIT: (of similar age)
Exceptionally uncommon.
About the same level of exceptionally uncommon as a random 55 yo man being in the same shape / physique as say, Liam Neeson or maybe Daniel Craig or Idris Elba.
Can you really just not accept that another person's lived experience could... significantly differ from your own?
Just being on FetLife will show you plenty of women in their 50s in pretty good shape.
I don't understand why you believe that women like this don't exist other than celebrities (which was like pulling teeth to get you to admit, I might add). I'm aware that most of society believes that older women are useless and thus invisible to the male gaze, but Jesus Christ, dude - is it really true to this extent for you?
Edit: Kisses to my stalker today, thanks for the downvotes! I love that you take the time to dutifully go through my post history and downvote each comment. Shows you really love me <3
You seem to be deliberately missing the part where I said 'in my local area'.
In my local area... no, so far in my experience using fetlife, you are wrong.
The woman I am talking about is absolutely exceptional in terms of physique, compared to her peers in the same area, I have yet to see anyone comparable... though of course, again as I previously said... I've only just started using the site.
Sure, if I look ... across everyone on the entire site, everywhere, then yes, I will most likely see more 55 yo women who have great physiques.
But I don't live in New York or LA or Paris or something.
I live in a 'city' with a population significantly under 500k, and its a poorer city, in a poorer state.
You are the one who decided that what I originally said and meant was 'no 55 yo women exist who have exceptional physiques'. You interpreted it that way, ignoring pertinent context and then explicit statements from myself where I made every attempt to explain that no that is not what I meant...
... and you are trying to spin this as extracting a confession from me.
This is bad faith in the extreme.
I also never said that most older women are invisible to me. I talk to a fair number of older women in my apartment... somewhat regularly, when we pass in the halls or what not. I enjoy their conversation, occasionally I help them out with some kind of chore type task, they help me out with some kind of chore... I just am not generally sexually attracted to them.
I explictly said that it would be ridiculous to have the same physical expectations for a 30 yo and 55 yo woman, yet you persist in insulting me and painting me as a misogynist who thinks all old women are ugly.
Also, I'm not the one downvoting you. Somebody else is doing that. You could verify this if you wanted to, I believe there are tools by which possible to do that on lemmy, or you could ping a mod or admin if you really want, i think they could as well.
I hope you do not consider it 'stalking' to reply to a conversation chain that you started and are continuing.
People can be 'not in 100% agreement with you' and not be a stalker-misogynist.
People can be ‘not in 100% agreement with you’ and not be a stalker-misogynist.
I wasn't calling you a stalker-misogynist unless you're the one downvoting every single comment I make.
For the record, I'm aware some of my opinions are deeply unpopular here. I still don't call you a "shit person" because I might disagree.
You'd be hard pressed to find any comments of mine that are as rude as yours here.
Edit: Wow, that moderation history of yours sure is something lol
It's possible to talk about first hand experiences without painting attractive older women as some cryptid that's never been seen before.
I live in a city that isn't even at 250k population and see plenty of regular women over 55 that are fit.
I simply don't believe you that out of hundreds of thousands of people, there's no middle aged women that are fit in your city. It's not believable.
honestly it's more disingenuous and sexist to pretend that every 55 year old woman looks like Salma Hayek and Cate Blanchett, velma
The other thing at play here is that … I was genuinely baffled, in disbelief.
I literally have never seen a 55 yo woman in as good of shape as she is, she’s in better shape than most women I’ve known who actually are in the age bracket I thought she was in.
I'm responding to the assertion that a 55 year old woman in shape is enough to leave someone baffled and in disbelief because they've literally never seen a 55yo woman in as good of shape
I'm not saying every 55yo woman looks like Salma Hayek, but by existing they are disproving this original comment.
It's funny, because you can just go to the gym and meet people who are both old and in shape. In fact, you're more likely to meet people who are both old and in shape at the gym because... older people who are in shape are the ones who go to the gym in the first place.
I'm not single
or 55
but if I were single at any age, I would never approach a woman at a gym. Idk. Feels only a small step better than approaching them at work. "Captive audience" type shit, it would feel gross to me.
but if I were single at any age, I would never approach a woman at a gym.
I mean, more power to you. I'm mostly just saying "Women over 55 who are fit exist, you can find them at gyms all over the country." I'm not suggesting you need to hit on any of them.
That said, I can say from personal experience that people flirting with each other at the gym is incredibly common. I've flirted. I've been flirted. I even dated a Pilates instructor that I met there.
Feels only a small step better than approaching them at work.
Lot of flirting happens in offices, too.
“Captive audience” type shit
You meet people where you both are. But there's a tactful way to approach people and a crass way. Don't go running up to grab someone by the pussy. But smiles and small talk don't hold anyone hostage.
They're not talking about approaching women at the gym.
They're talking about observing women that are over 55 and in shape. Because they exist. Despite popular belief.
In fact, you’re more likely to meet people who are both old and in shape at the gym because…
I mean, more power to you. I’m mostly just saying “Women over 55 who are fit exist, you can find them at gyms all over the country.” I’m not suggesting you need to hit on any of them.
The other user said it to you, too.
Meeting people doesn't mean you're approaching them to flirt.
The argument is whether fit women over 55+ exist. They do.
It's not necessarily even about your intention, it's about leaving people alone when they probably want to be left alone.
Exactly.
Literally one can go to the grocery store and find a woman who is over 50 and in shape. I would bet money.
I mean, fit people still shop. It's just going to be much more of a crap shoot.
Why would a 40 year old lie about being 55?
So, on Tinder at least, there's something I read about people under 40 being sorted and matched differently than people over 40. The end result being folks in higher tiers of service getting access to younger matches. But because it's a semi-known exploit, you end up with people lying about their age to manipulate the match set.
You also get a weird phenomenon such that you see the same list of people showing up over and over again on your feed, until you cross the dateline and suddenly they all vanish.
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