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[–] 46 points 5 months ago (14 children)

Don't bring up Rimworld, don't bring up Rimworld

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  • [–] 36 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    Jesus: "Says here you skinned a man alive for profit"

    Every RimWorld player: "But he made such a nice hat! And I sold his organs to provide for his family"

    Jesus: "Says here you also turned them into hats"

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  • [–] 23 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Yeah.. If kills in games counted as war crimes, mine would have their own wikipedia page.

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  • [–] 21 points 5 months ago* (3 children)

    Jesus: So you created a mechanized death camp in The Sims? What is wrong with you?

    I wanted to make a graveyard, you can’t buy graves in the Sims 1, so the optimal way is to move whole families in, put them in a 3x3 room with a rug and fireworks, then kill the whole family.

    Plus, each additional grave drives down the house value by $1000. That’s $8k per family you can add. You can accelerate the final move in process by adding more furniture each time while keeping the lot value at $20k, when the final family moves in they can just sell it and skip the rosebud step.

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  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Oh man, all those attackers that got turned into limbless, spineless, fleshbags used only as blood farms. I think I'm going to the bad place.

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  • [–] 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Back when I was a child, getting Lara Croft to swan dive onto a hard floor...

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  • [–] 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    I used to play golden eye only shooting enemies in the dick.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago

    There was a F2P COD clone several years ago that had "nutshots" the way typical FPS games have "headshots." They even had a special "grabs balls and keels over" animation for nutshot kills.

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  • [–] 12 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    i definitely didn't used to drown the npcs in rollercoaster tycoon

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  • [–] 12 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Hey, that’s fine, if I’m meeting Jesus I already made it past Peter. He’s the one I’m worried about.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago

    Yeah, the pic even explicitly states that you got to heaven. And would it really be heaven if you went there and your bad behavior was brought up like this? I think not. So, therefore, the conclusion must be that this isn't being brought up as bad behavior. Jesus is showing you this to laugh about it with you.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago

    But do the enemies who knock Mario into bottomless pits ever get chastised? Noooo!

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago (6 children)

    What if Jesus has access to your internet browsing history even the stuff you deleted or did in incognito mode?

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  • [–] [S] 9 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    "Why did you have to look up how to spell 'museum' so many times...?"

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago

    Tux noooooooo!

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago

    Sweet! I'm good brother. Never killed little homie, at least not purposefully.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago

    Bro, I am going straight into the deepest depths of hell then because of all the murder against innocent civilians I've done in GTA...

    Oh well, maybe they shouldn't have cut into my lane for no reason.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago

    I'm sorry, jesus!

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  • [–] 0 points 5 months ago

    I would tell him, that if my behavior towards pixels on a screen is a factor in the admission to heaven, then his methodology is quite obviously flawed and I'm not sure if admission is even something to be desired.

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