You're living in a prison of your own making. I hope you escape one day.

A lot more women I meet now are now asking me if I am 'actually straight/gay' now too.

wot ? do they ask you if you're vegan while you're eating a steak ?

They all want 'masculine men' and they want to be 'feminine women

why are we dating and not fucking ? :)

Article is talking about the dating world, as it is, as of 2026. Not how it used to be, not how it ought to be

indeed.

I'm not going to pretend that I understand everything happening to today's young daters, but what you're describing isn't true in my circles (which skew older and richer, but where the people going on dates are more likely to be divorced and/or have children from prior relationships, but where $200 on a weeknight dinner is not unusual or a financial stretch).

More importantly, I still stand by my description of how the article mangled the underlying studies. Dating can be expensive, but not everyone who goes on a $200 date in that survey is going on a first date with a stranger, and $93 is probably a better metric to follow to understand what is happening.

The rest of my comment is just a description of what I believe will both reduce the amount of money spent on first dates and increase the expected value of that date by deferring any decision to spend any money by only going on dates with people you already kinda know and already like. If you don't believe that advice is practical for your current circumstances, I'm sorry to hear that, but I wonder if you can find another way to achieve similar effects.

How many dates do you go on that aren't from dating apps?

nordic nations with lots of subsidies also have kow birthrates

if you give women choice, (education, careers etc) they mostly choose 0, 1 or 2 kids at most, all of those choices are below replacement. For every woman choosing 0, you need another choosing 5 just to stand still.

If you take away choice, keep women mostly at home, use religious indoctrination (quiver full) and insist upon a patriarchal society sans birth control you'll raise the birthrate. It's why many conservatives are starting to talk about banning birth control, where once they frowned on teen moms, they're now advocating for it.

True, but unless you or your partner are against the very idea, most prospective relationships start with dating, then are moving toward marriage, children, or both.

Coffee house dates are realistic. Many places are open well into the evening, especially chains. And while privacy isn’t high, neither is the cost.

And the point of a first date is not to spend money, but to gauge compatibility and interest.

Any guy that spends big bucks on the first date is setting himself up for failure by putting up a high bar that the woman is loathe to go beneath in the future. He will be caught in the “dancing monkey” trap, forced to implement ever more expensive displays just to stay above that bar.

By keeping the bar low in the beginning, a man filters for quality and substance and against being treated like an ATM. Those women who are just foodies or who have unrealistic expectations self-select themselves out of contention, leaving only the serious, well-adjusted, pragmatic, and realistic women still at the table.