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[–] 44 points 5 months ago (4 children)

sound of dog licking its balls in the middle of the night

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  • [–] 26 points 5 months ago (10 children)

    All those kid-negative comments are true. My 3 kids are noisy, tiring and expensive. But ... now I'm very wary of the time when they'll leave the house. They fill it with life and joy. Yes those laughters are magical.

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  • [–] 19 points 5 months ago (8 children)

    Yeah. It's like nobody wants to acknowledge positive side

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  • [+] -11 points 5 months ago (6 children)
  • [–] 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

    Maybe that's for the better, no?
    I mean, who needs children that may grow up bitter and with no emotional connection because the parents werent into kids in the first place

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago*

    It's more that we've got a mass media that's poisoned it's young people against any kind of social cohesion.

    Don't get married. Don't have kids. Don't waste time with friends. Don't talk to your parents. Just Hustle. Just Grind. Until you get rich enough to quit your job, retreat into your luxury space, gorge yourself on treats, and die.

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  • [+] 1 point 5 months ago (2 children)
  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago* (1 child)

    Fair points and agreed.

    My mom always responded to "I don't like/want to to that" with "How can you not like it without even having tried it/to?"

    Reflecting on that, it makes sense now.

    But it's not like you can "trial" children before committing to it like a car or a subscription.
    At best it can be tested with a pet like a dog or something else.

    I can enjoy children but only for a limited time and after that I am done with it.

    And I usually hear fresh parents talk about the lack of sleep, amount of increased duties, chores etc. etc. and the good aspects are very few (of which those are mostly not interesting to me).
    A relative has brought a new family addition into the world. The baby is cute and all but I can't bring myself to care about it in the toddler phase.
    Once it hits maybe the age of 6 or 8 when one can do something with it, they become more interesting to me.

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  • [–] -1 points 5 months ago

    Kids are seen as a luxury, reserved for the leisure class, or a trap leveraged by evil spouses to take your money.

    Anti-natalism is just the end philosophy of a society that is fully alienated from itself. Any other people in your life is just parasites sucking happiness from your increasingly scarce free time. Your only goal should be Hustle And Grind, until you have enough money to totally self-isolate.

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  • [–] 21 points 5 months ago

    I lived in an apartment building with a lot of families with kids. In summers, the courtyard was like the monkey enclosure at a zoo.

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  • [–] 75 points 5 months ago (7 children)

    I had a kid and suddenly all my money and free time evaporated.

    How does something so small make me go from one load of laundry a week to 2 a day??

    Where did the money go? I’m not buying much more.

    How the fuck is the sink full of dirty dishes? I literally finished the dishes 12 seconds ago.

    Why is everything sticky? What the fuck is on the ceiling?!?!

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  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    2 laundry a day with one kid? That’s impressive

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    I'd highly recommend cloth diapers but those do increase the load count. And if you've got a kid it's harder to efficiently do more loads in a single day.

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  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago

    I don’t have any kids but that doesn’t stop the neighbour kids from waking me up every morning.

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    I always wanted kids, it seems so sweet.

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    Unironically I probably will have kids in the next couple years. Just enjoying it while I can.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (1 child)

    get your priorities knocked out before you start cuz you become a passenger in the metaphorical ride of life once you bring children onboard

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 5 months ago*

    Im in a good spot financially, mentally and physically. I own my property and home. Stable good income job, could support the household on my pay alone. But my girl also has a good gig. Athough we aren't married. Really just nervous about being a kind of selfish person honestly.

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  • [–] 8 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    you mean listening to my tinnitus?

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  • [–] 22 points 5 months ago (18 children)

    I don't have any kids and no complaints, but something tells me we're going to have to revisit this thought when we're above 80 years of age.

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  • [–] 19 points 5 months ago (7 children)

    I bet you're right. Im dreading when my parents get Old and need assistance. I am in no way prepared for that.
    And then I'll be alone when I get old. No kids to help me then.

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  • [–] 30 points 5 months ago (6 children)

    So umm... Not to be a downer but,

    depressing stuff incoming. Don't read if you just wanna shitpost.

    my mom is currently in need of assistance for basically everything rn. She has something with no cure and that will only get worse.

    I'm not assisting all the time but I do get a day or two every week or two weeks. I usually tell her stories and sometimes sing to her. She's still somewhat there.. You can tell she's listening to your story because her eyes show attention on the interesting parts. She sometimes mumbles/hums to songs she knew as a kid... But she isn't fully there. She sometimes doesn't respond to any external stimuli at all, sometimes with grimaces of pain. It can get ugly... And there's also the part of her needing help with everything... Yes, everything.

    I'm just gonna say, the problem isn't the ugly stuff or the gross stuff. You get past those the first few shocks. The problem is It's a battle of endurance. You have to face the death of someone you love, but they haven't died yet... So you can't really grieve, but they're not really there either so you can't really be happy. It's emotionally exhausting beyond anything I could imagine.

    I only do it a few days every week or other week and come back a complete wreck.

    So why do I mention this? Because after going through this for a few months, I talked about it with a friend and umm.. we made a pact. I think it might be for the benefit of both of us and those we love. The inuit / 'eskimos' had the right idea, you know? All I'm gonna say. You get the picture.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago* (1 child)

    I've thought about that, because I have zero interest in putting myself or my family through that. But the hardest thing, as far as I can tell, is figuring out the point to make that decision while still having the capacity to do so. It's like playing the stock market and watching number go up, and knowing when to sell before it tanks. I don't want to miss out on valuable time, but I also don't to go too long and miss out on the opportunity to end on my own terms.

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  • [–] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

    My father's counterargument to my refusing to procreate is exactly this. "Who's going to take care of you when you're old?" What that told me is his main reason for having kids was to have someone do that for him. Funny, because despite having lived under the same roof, he wasn't much in my life, or has made any positive inpact on me. Everything was on mom (and sometimes grandmother). And now listening to him talk like some day I will move back to the country and abandon my entire life to take care of him/them, while right at this moment he's being extremely financially irresponsible? Cool cool cool. My partner's mother expects the same, all the while she doesn't work at all because it's beneath her.

    With that said, I find having children for the sole purpose of them taking care of me in my old age not only selfish (especially with the imminent climate collapse), it's also risky (and I'm not even talking cases where the child has disabilities and can't take care of their own needs). And that's in the case I even live that long.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago

    I'm sorry your dad's an asshole and I'm sure you can get purpose and meaning without kids.

    Would you mind if I asked you about the people/things you love? On a really rough day, what gets you out of bed?

    Sometimes it's a struggle for me.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    Your dad is indeed quite selfish.

    But I think we will start to go back to the multigenerational housing. Young folks can't afford a house, so live with their folks, have kids, who help with the kinds ...and then their folks need care as they age.

    Could be a virtuous circle or a vicious one depending on your family/situation.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago

    Shouldn't get kids because you might need them when you're old. Chances are, you'll hear from them once every couple months because they have their own lives to deal with.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago

    I got along with my parents really well in my 20's and 30's, and it's kinda hard watching them age now, but we got 2 good decades, maybe 3, of both generations being functional adults who love each other and enrich each other's lives.

    I enjoyed being childless in my 20's and early 30's, and anticipate enjoying having 20+ year old children in my late 50's onward.

    Babies and toddlers are whatever. I love my children but still don't really like other people's children. But as they (and their peers and their cousins and their friends) grow older, I can definitely see personalities form and become future adults who I will really enjoy spending time with.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago

    Reading this as my son's cat screams at our old cat for sitting in his chair.

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  • [–] 23 points 5 months ago (40 children)

    Kids are little disease vectors that drain your life-force and murder your dreams.

    If you enjoy being broke, fat, tired, and boring, you should totally have kids. Come on, do it! Your friends and family just assume you’ll squeeze out one or two, you don’t want to disappoint them , do you?

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  • [–] 39 points 5 months ago (37 children)

    Tbf, people who talk like this shouldn’t really have kids anyway so it’s an issue that resolves itself.

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  • [–] -3 points 5 months ago (36 children)

    No it doesn’t. People fuck, kids happen. Recognizing people have human compulsions but don’t want to deal with the consequences requires forethought, whether that’s a condom, birth control, or sterilization. Fuck off with you “an issue that resolves itself” bullshit. Responsibility and self-awareness prevents it.

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago (27 children)

    I have no idea what you are saying, did you reply to the wrong comment?

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (26 children)

    No. The implication that people who don’t want kids somehow don’t end up in situations where kids are produced is ludicrous. People don’t fuck just to make babies, but since that is a possibility, avoiding that outcome is a responsibility. Not everyone who doesn’t want kids automatically becomes a bad parent when they do occur, and not everyone who intentionally creates kids is a good parent.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (25 children)

    No, people who call kids ‘disease vectors’ shouldn’t have kids, silly billy.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Gotta back him up on this point, and I think every parent will agree - from the time they are toddlers until late in high school you WILL catch every disease all the other kids at school had that week. Among most parents it's a running joke.

    Mine are grown now but still living at home and I STILL catch shit from them going around their unis.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (22 children)

    Your original reply implied that people who hold such a belief somehow end up not making babies because of that belief. I continue to suggest the onus is on people with that belief to prevent them while knowing that it’s quite likely they’re going to fuck, and frankly, your opinion about their reproductive rights and bodily autonomy is irrelevant. I mean, what’s your proposal, comb people’s post histories for comments like “disease vectors” and take their kids away when condoms fail or a pill is missed, or do we just sterilize/castrate them beforehand?

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (21 children)

    I said shouldn’t , not don’t. I think you need to work on your comprehension. I don’t know why this has set you off so much, but I sincerely hope you get the help you need.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (13 children)

    it’s an issue that resolves itself.

    Explain how people not wanting kids “resolves itself”. Do you think they don’t have sex?

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  • [–] -1 points 5 months ago (12 children)

    People who dislike kids and don’t want kids are less likely to have kids. I’m sorry but is there someone around you that usually helps you when you are talking to people?

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (9 children)

    I’m sorry but is there someone around you that usually helps you when you are talking to people?

    So what if there was? Adding a backhanded jab that relies on treating special needs people like they’re less than capable of handling themselves and need someone else to do their talking as an insult is a real shitbag comment. If you want to resort to name calling don’t use the idea of special needs as making someone else lesser.

    It’s also not an “issue”, as if avoiding parenthood is somehow a deviation from the norm or amoral choice. If OPs comment struck a nerve, call them out on the part of the comment that struck the nerve- their description of kids as disgusting. There’s no issue in not having kids and the choice to not make them is resolved when the people who don’t want them take personal responsibility and precautions to prevent it from happening.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    I’m sorry but is there someone around you that usually helps you when you are talking to people?

    So what if there was? Adding a backhanded jab that relies on treating special needs people like they’re less than capable of handling themselves and need someone else to do their talking as an insult is a real shitbag comment. If you want to resort to name calling don’t use the idea of special needs as making someone else lesser.

    I love you for this. Thank you for calling that shit out. <3

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  • [–] 0 points 5 months ago

    Hi, people needing assistance online isn’t a negative or derogatory and I actually have a family member who needs help with forms and online interaction. Thinking its a negative is gross and abelist, please check yourself.

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  • [–] 0 points 5 months ago (6 children)

    Why is needing extra assistance classed as a backhand jab to you? I have a family member who has someone help with forms and phonecalls and I have personally had to interject with their online activity, its more common than you think. Why do you class that as derogatory?

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    Fuck off with the “I know someone so my comment isn’t bigoted” bullshit. That’s the oldest save face in the book, and it’s even more pathetic when you’re anonymously online because it’s unverifiable. But by all means, explain how your comment wasn’t an attempt to take a jab at my intellect by implying I was a member of vulnerable minority. Seriously though, don’t reply with whatever you think will “win”. There’s zero doubt that you wrote that as an insult in this conversation, we’re clearly bickering and you didn’t suddenly make a U-Turn and use your supposed loved one’s needs as genuine concern, you used it to undercut by implying my response is unintelligent and needs someone smarter to write it for me. You’re smart enough to know “retard” is verboten but savvy enough with words to make the same implication.

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  • [–] 0 points 5 months ago (4 children)

    You were bickering on your own. Feel free to go through my replies to you and tell me where I was bickering with you. Your reaction to my genuine personal experience tells me all I need to know about you. I hope you find peace. Take care.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    If you truly have someone in your life like that but then use your knowledge of their needs to craft better insults you’re worse than a liar trying to save face. It’s bad enough when people treat disability like it’s an insult out of ignorance. You’re not ignorant, you have someone you supposedly love and know what their life is like but choose to take that path anyway. Shame on you.

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  • [–] 0 points 5 months ago (2 children)

    I’m not reading that. I wish you well.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Well then you’ve either chosen ignorance or are a liar and have run out of excuses and redirects. If you want a safe space where people won’t call you out on your put downs at the expense of vulnerable populations, I’d suggest Facebook or Twitter. They’re filled with MAGAts, Zionists, and Christofascists who turn being held accountable into a persecution complex.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (1 child)

    People who don't want kids, won't have kids, and is a "problem that resolves itself"? Like because they don't have kids they won't "pass it down"?

    It sounds like the same reasoning as "People being gay is a problem that resolves itself cuz they don't have sex." As if being gay is something that can only be "passed down".

    Probably why the other person is getting upset, not sure if this is what you were trying to say or not.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    Because they don’t want kids, genuinely dislike kids, wouldn’t be great with the kids, and as a result likely won’t have kids… so they won’t ever have to endure the horrors they are describing. I have no idea what is being misinterpreted. I’ve shared this comment chain around and people are sure that the person commenting is mentally ill.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (6 children)

    $20 days they have at least one kid they didn’t want to / weren’t planning on having.

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  • [–] 0 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    I’ll take your $20. Snipped at 23 because, as I’ve been pointing out, the responsibility of preventing unwanted children is on the potential parent who’s disinterest in reproducing is neither a disinterest in sex nor somehow prevents sex from occurring.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (4 children)
  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (3 children)

    Gurty resorted to insults that required disparaging special needs and you won’t honor a bet because you lost. You two deserve one another.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (2 children)

    Show me the disparaging comment

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (7 children)

    People fuck, kids happen.

    Hasn't been a serious issue since contraception became mainstream in the 70s.

    I fuck all the time and have never had a kid naturally. I've got two adopted kids who are the loves of my life, though.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (6 children)

    Source: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_02/sr02-201.pdf

    While there’s been a steady reduction in unwanted pregnancies since contraception and abortion were legalized, in the US alone around 35-40% of pregnancies are still unintended. That means in 2019 approximately 943,000 people came into this world as an “oops”.

    I’m actually the result of an unplanned teen pregnancy and was adopted out (not the love of their lives however, more of an object upon which to heap their violence and rage). When I finally met my bio mom, who’s rad, after we’d gotten to know each other a bit she admitted she tried to abort me but was past the cutoff date by the time she realized. Some people don’t create children but become wonderful parents, some people don’t want kids but end up with them and make the choice to be good parents, some people desperately want to be parents but have selfish purposes.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (5 children)

    in the US alone around 35-40% of pregnancies are still unintended

    A problem easily solved with expansion of access to contraception and abortion services.

    These pregnancies are not the result of people fucking. They are the result of state and federal policy denying them access to baby-free sex.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (4 children)

    I’m 100% with you that access to contraception and abortion should be human rights, but even if state limitations didn’t exist sex for fun and with full precautions would still sometimes result in the creation of a new human. 2019 was 40yrs into the US allowing access to contraceptives and abortion and still 1/3 of new people came into existence unintentionally.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago* (3 children)

    even if state limitations didn’t exist sex for fun and with full precautions would still sometimes result in the creation of a new human

    It goes from a routine occurrence to an outlayer concern.

    2019 was 40yrs into the US allowing access to contraceptives and abortion and still 1/3 of new people came into existence unintentionally.

    Unintentional pregnancies in the early 1970s accounted for 2.2-2.7M births per year.

    We've reduced that incidence by 60% over the intervening period.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (2 children)

    It’s great that numbers are down, but 1/3 of humanity coming into existence when contraceptives, abortion, and a basic understanding of how babies are made are accessible seems like more than an outlier. Whether 2.2 million or 900k, these aren’t just numbers, each one born is a human being, subject to all that entails and subjecting the world to all that comes with another human existing.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago (1 child)

    1/3 of humanity coming into existence

    It's not 1/3rd of humanity, it's 1/3rd of Americans - a community of people who are exceptionally reactionary around contraception and abortion

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  • [–] 20 points 5 months ago

    I’m personally in the boat of seeing kids as adding to one’s life rather than draining it and making dreams rather than taking them away. But having kids is something my partner and I want. My only other dream is to ever own the roof over my head, but that’s not totally likely.

    I feel that having kids would not seem as daunting for more people if we had real safety nets to support people that would even consider being parents. Such as free daycare, a basic income, universal healthcare, and stipends specifically to pay for costs associated with kids like for diapers, bottles, books, ever changing clothes sizes, etc.

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    I do kinda miss my shot at having a family. Things just didn't work out and this struggle bus isn't child friendly. My cats fill that void nicely. Just wish I had my own place so I didn't have to go my Ex's all the time.They love him to bits too. He's better off financially than me and I know they're taken care of but damn I miss them (Ex included). Aging and ending up isolated sucks, but it can't last forever. Stg, I'm gonna be fucking pissed if there's after life

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  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago

    Having a lil buzzer is fun and games until forever. Saying from a perspective of a guy who swore never to have kids but someday figured that you just have to do something in your life.

    But it's so fucking hard to get to that point in your life that you can actually afford having a kid

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago

    Too quite and lonely for my taste.

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