It's essentially a bridge with two trolls that hate each other.

Iran is blockading some traffic, notably not their own and those that pay protection.

The US is blockading some traffic, notably Iran's traffic.

Iran lets Iranian ships and ships from Iran-friendly countries through and nothing else.
The US lets all ships through apart from Iranian and friends' ships.

If you're into electronics, think of it as a band-pass filter followed by a notch filter. And it's just as fucking stupid.

USA and Israel bombed Iran, including killing its leaders.

Iran responded by attacking American bases in neighboring countries, and closing the Strait (defended with land based missiles and underwater sea mines).

Eventually some stuff was let through, mostly China’s oil.

At the same time, Israel started expanding into Lebanon. Iran said no opening the strait until bombing stops there.

USA says “ok no more Israel bombing there, but we are ALSO blockading the strait and stopping anything going to Iran’s ports, or anything to/from Russia and China”

Now Iran also blocking it again, so nothing gets through, because no one is following through on their promises.

One cannot make sense of what is going on, for there is no sense to be made of it.

The best I can tell, Iran aims to block the whole strait, while letting their own traffic through. And the US just wants to blockade Iranian ports, and let the rest of the traffic through.

they're cock blocking each other like a couple frat bro's.

Iran blocked it for any ship that did not pay a toll to iran. US is blocking it for every ship that did pay the toll.

If you're depressed I suggest turning off the news. Won't cure it but I don't think it's a source of happiness to you.

You can double block, but you can’t triple block. That’s the rule.

Gotta keep the markets swinging so your friends can get their bets in while they can.

“Double secret probation”

You couldn’t make this shit up