It’s all fun and games until a W40K librarian turns up
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Jealous. My library fines aren't outstanding, they're just average.
I work at a law firm, and am surrounded by law librarians, and yes, you do not want to tangle with them for any reason.
They got guns n axes n magic n stuff

Welcome to Nightvale (podcast) has a plot point like this. "The Librarians" are spoken of like they're some sort of horrible creature that hunt down anyone who comes in, and most people never come back out.
Meanwhile, in libraries: "I'm being laid off? WHY? No budget for so many staff? But I'm only part time, I don't even get health insurance... PLEASE, I'll lose my house!"
lol, good job, OP - really stuck it to the man!
I’m pretty sure they don’t rely on fines to operate.
True.
And it's not like those fees don't cap before they hit a point where they'd be meaningful in that way.
Also not a good idea to piss off librarians though.
No, of course, not. but it ads insult to injury of a municipal service that already struggles to maintain a shoestring budget.
I don't think you understand how libraries function. It's not Blockbuster
What is this format? I can't tell who is responding to whom.
The white region in the middle looks like it was put there as a screen shot by the person who wrote the bounty hunter part, but then it looks like it is also supposed to be responding to that part, but there are no details on the bottom part about which accounts are talking or when.
I guess it's all just one person's joke presented as if it's a conversation. But why not put in minimal effort to make it look the tiniest bit real?
Well if the librarians have a secret cabal of assassins at their service, now would be as good a time as any to get them to work on you-know-who.
Steven King has a short story called The Library Policemen. You should use this as a reference.
Worked hard senior year to track down an obscure philosophical text for some report I can't even remember, wound up having to use the interlibrary loan system from the next county over just to get my hands on it. The last time it had been checked out was like 6 years ago.
It was such a gem I wound up never returning it, reasoning that "no one else will appreciate it enough", and it's been mine ever since. Think I still owe 75 on it, but I was a broke college student at the time lol
Most systems are fine free now. What are you on about? Librarians don't have time for your nonsense.
Seattle is and they'll let you use their excellent online services all over the country to counteract the far right nutjobs:
https://www.spl.org/using-the-library/manage-your-account/no-late-fines
Mine has fined but they excuse them every time if you bring things back so it's basically fine free although on paper its not.
My local library system went fine-free around 2020, reintroduced some fines around 2023ish and now they're somewhere between fine-free and not? I'm honestly confused and also I so rarely incur fines that I've not been able to fully figure out the current fine structure
Are they really? How does that work if someone returns books way late or never? Is there a point that they get charged the full amount?
Fine free if you return the materials. Otherwise, you’re blocked from checking out materials if you hit a certain amount ($10+ usually, depends on the library). There is a likely chance that they’ll work with you to reduce it and Unless you owe hundreds of dollars, you’re probably getting your account deleted in ~5 years so that’s also a sort of forgiveness.
My library has no late fees but we do charge for lost or damaged item fees. We really just want the materials back. Fines are a PITA to deal with for both staff and patrons, more hassle than they're worth. They also can scare patrons into not bringing items back because they're worried about either the fee or being yelled at (our patrons skew young and maybe aren't used to how libraries work: they often ask about the cost for "renting" books instead of "checking out" books, and we have to explain it's a free service.)
edit: scary librarian voice. a lost item will go on your permanent record and you won't be able to graduate until you pay it off
I have cards in 3 library systems. They all work this way:
Each system requires a yearly card renewal, you have to physically go into a branch to renew, although they do have accommodations for disabilities and stuff. If you have not returned a book or have way overdue books, you will be unable to renew your card unless you return the overdue ones. The only fees I have are if I were to lose a book and it needs to be replaced.
Ours still has fines, but they're really small (max of $4 per item) unless they bill you for replacement for not bringing something back (or bringing it back destroyed.)
I think it kinda works for the most part, some people just don't care for others' stuff, but I think a fine structure that's acts as negative reinforcement toward expected behavior without being overly punitive, is good for keeping material in the library.
Heck, they even renew automatically. They're definitely not out to make a revenue out of it or harshly punish people.
That's good. Here they will just reclaim the money you own them for the book after a while and that will get annoying and expensive.
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